Hey Gauntleteers, it’s time to crowdsource the miscellany for Codex – Bone.

Hey Gauntleteers, it’s time to crowdsource the miscellany for Codex – Bone.

Hey Gauntleteers, it’s time to crowdsource the miscellany for Codex – Bone. This miscellany is called “Three Dozen Things That Are Terribly Wrong with These Bones.” Submissions need to be a single sentence, or 2-3 short sentences. By submitting here, you’re agreeing to let us use it (you’ll get a credit on the issue). We’re looking for evocative things; the purpose of the miscellany is to inspire the reader.

Here are some examples:

“Radiocarbon dating placed the vertebrae at the end of the Ice Age, removing the possibility of a sauropod. Barring evidence of an ancient giraffe population in Ontario, this may be a previously undiscovered species.”

“Damn it, I know what spongy bone looks like, and this isn’t it! This was a hive.

“The crew remain distressed by the local flora, claiming to see human remains in every fallen branch. I confess the resemblance grows harder to ignore. I myself found a perfectly formed jawbone, and can find no carving marks upon it.”

P.S. If you want to be credited as something other than your G+ name, let me know!

118 thoughts on “Hey Gauntleteers, it’s time to crowdsource the miscellany for Codex – Bone.”

  1. “Of course, great khagan, making a goblet from the skull of your enemy is a fine old tradition. But an entire dinner service? Don’t you think it’s just a trifle gauche, luvvy?”

  2. “Of course, great khagan, making a goblet from the skull of your enemy is a fine old tradition. But an entire dinner service? Don’t you think it’s just a trifle gauche, luvvy?”

  3. One of the tibia had been snapped in half, seemingly post-mortem. The word Ascension was threaded through the marrow like a stick of rock. On examination, every part of the skeleton bears a separate word. Tomorrow, we will try and piece together the message…

  4. One of the tibia had been snapped in half, seemingly post-mortem. The word Ascension was threaded through the marrow like a stick of rock. On examination, every part of the skeleton bears a separate word. Tomorrow, we will try and piece together the message…

  5. Skulls placed in the Ossuary of Leaves grow intricate vines of bone, like delicate stalagmites. The crystalline scarlet flowers can be brewed into a tea that gives fleeting memories of the deceased. Only the attendant nuns drink wine made from the “grapes”.

  6. Skulls placed in the Ossuary of Leaves grow intricate vines of bone, like delicate stalagmites. The crystalline scarlet flowers can be brewed into a tea that gives fleeting memories of the deceased. Only the attendant nuns drink wine made from the “grapes”.

  7. “It was highly believed that the Skeletons of Anatigua were decorated in death, the intricate carvings across their bones seemingly made with ceremonial tools. But we now know, with the discovery of the Xibal’n Tablets, they were magically carved while they were still alive….”

  8. “It was highly believed that the Skeletons of Anatigua were decorated in death, the intricate carvings across their bones seemingly made with ceremonial tools. But we now know, with the discovery of the Xibal’n Tablets, they were magically carved while they were still alive….”

  9. “So to summarise, while the active components are found in the bone at a lower concentration than in the naturally-occurring dust, the yield would be orders of magnitude higher due to comparative mass. Not to mention cost-savings in production efficiencies.”

    Prof. QF Gillikin, addressing the board of Glittershine Fairydust Inc.

  10. “So to summarise, while the active components are found in the bone at a lower concentration than in the naturally-occurring dust, the yield would be orders of magnitude higher due to comparative mass. Not to mention cost-savings in production efficiencies.”

    Prof. QF Gillikin, addressing the board of Glittershine Fairydust Inc.

  11. “We thought it was another asteroid belt. We thought the readings were being affected by a nearby pulsar. It was only after we sent the landing party that we realized it the vertebrae of a great, dead space whale. And the pulsar? The mourning song of its mate.”

  12. “We thought it was another asteroid belt. We thought the readings were being affected by a nearby pulsar. It was only after we sent the landing party that we realized it the vertebrae of a great, dead space whale. And the pulsar? The mourning song of its mate.”

  13. The people of the dry desert are one with it. They depend on it’s kindness for water, and for life. And sometimes, when a child is born with bones like the dried saguaro cactus, they know kindness has a price.

  14. The people of the dry desert are one with it. They depend on it’s kindness for water, and for life. And sometimes, when a child is born with bones like the dried saguaro cactus, they know kindness has a price.

  15. It seemed a refuse pile at first, what with the different sizes and seeming species of bones within. But it was only when the human femur fit a little too well with the bull hip that we began to suspect something more.

  16. It seemed a refuse pile at first, what with the different sizes and seeming species of bones within. But it was only when the human femur fit a little too well with the bull hip that we began to suspect something more.

  17. While donating cadavers to medical science has become quite commonplace, Aloysius Stone is believed to be the first person to donate his to the field of performance art. His skeleton “dances” at the front of the carnival parade each year, and he has just completed a season playing Yorick.

  18. While donating cadavers to medical science has become quite commonplace, Aloysius Stone is believed to be the first person to donate his to the field of performance art. His skeleton “dances” at the front of the carnival parade each year, and he has just completed a season playing Yorick.

  19. The dice that clatter on the tables of the otherwise low-rent gambling den Satan’s Purse have each been lovingly harvested and carved from the hands of cheats. Rolling your own bones is considered good luck.

  20. The dice that clatter on the tables of the otherwise low-rent gambling den Satan’s Purse have each been lovingly harvested and carved from the hands of cheats. Rolling your own bones is considered good luck.

  21. These bones aren’t bones at all. They seem to composed of the shells of tiny microorganisms that have gathered into a colony that uncannily mimics the appearance of a reasonably intact human skeleton. We don’t know why…yet.

  22. These bones aren’t bones at all. They seem to composed of the shells of tiny microorganisms that have gathered into a colony that uncannily mimics the appearance of a reasonably intact human skeleton. We don’t know why…yet.

  23. “_Oh, those?_ C’mon, don’t be stupid, everyone knows those are replicas. The real Cursed Bones of Breccan started growing tissue around ’em when they were excavated. Probably in an acid bath in some spook D.C. agency now.”

  24. “_Oh, those?_ C’mon, don’t be stupid, everyone knows those are replicas. The real Cursed Bones of Breccan started growing tissue around ’em when they were excavated. Probably in an acid bath in some spook D.C. agency now.”

  25. “Begin recording. Specimen seems to be a normal juvenile human skull. Aberration indicated by the growth of multiple spikes in a circular pattern, spaced 1 inch apart.”

  26. “Begin recording. Specimen seems to be a normal juvenile human skull. Aberration indicated by the growth of multiple spikes in a circular pattern, spaced 1 inch apart.”

  27. After complaining of chronic foot pain, several extra bones were removed during a routine surgery. These had only developed recently, and showed sign of continuing growth. The removed bones shared no familial DNA with the subject.

  28. After complaining of chronic foot pain, several extra bones were removed during a routine surgery. These had only developed recently, and showed sign of continuing growth. The removed bones shared no familial DNA with the subject.

  29. He watched as the seer tossed the handful of bones into the chalk circle, and peered at them through the perfumed wood smoke which hung heavy in the tent. As the bones assembled themselves into a clawed, rage-filled mannequin, he was pretty certain it was a bad omen

  30. He watched as the seer tossed the handful of bones into the chalk circle, and peered at them through the perfumed wood smoke which hung heavy in the tent. As the bones assembled themselves into a clawed, rage-filled mannequin, he was pretty certain it was a bad omen

  31. As best I can tell, these Denisovan fossils appear unremarkable, if not so well preserved…that is, except the left femur…the medullary cavity contains what appears to be a length of rolled vellum, sealed in wax…and addressed to you, Doctor.

  32. As best I can tell, these Denisovan fossils appear unremarkable, if not so well preserved…that is, except the left femur…the medullary cavity contains what appears to be a length of rolled vellum, sealed in wax…and addressed to you, Doctor.

  33. The Davenheim Skull was a unique trophy in the killer’s lair. Originally it was thought to be a shattered skull poorly reassembled with resin. It was only after closer investigation that authorities realized fragments came from more than five different victims.

  34. The Davenheim Skull was a unique trophy in the killer’s lair. Originally it was thought to be a shattered skull poorly reassembled with resin. It was only after closer investigation that authorities realized fragments came from more than five different victims.

  35. « Microscopical analysis show the bones are made of thousands of shards of different bones merged together.

    And the shards are from completely different species : cats, birds, cows, alligators… you name it. »

  36. « Microscopical analysis show the bones are made of thousands of shards of different bones merged together.

    And the shards are from completely different species : cats, birds, cows, alligators… you name it. »

  37. The Staff of Dylis the Wizened is a thin rodent leg bone about the length of a maple leaf. It was carried by a prominent fairy leader, who claimed that great empathy and knowledge came from the marrow of this bone. Supposedly when added to a soup, the broth will impart an insight into the interconnections of life, and a rapport with those that are not understood.

  38. The Staff of Dylis the Wizened is a thin rodent leg bone about the length of a maple leaf. It was carried by a prominent fairy leader, who claimed that great empathy and knowledge came from the marrow of this bone. Supposedly when added to a soup, the broth will impart an insight into the interconnections of life, and a rapport with those that are not understood.

  39. “Yes, Magus, I understand these bones have higher than usual levels of phlebotinum, and that no two bones are from the same species, but why—and how—are they singing?”

  40. “Yes, Magus, I understand these bones have higher than usual levels of phlebotinum, and that no two bones are from the same species, but why—and how—are they singing?”

  41. A wild hunt begins after it becomes known that famous street artist Zok has undercover as a fake surgeon put their art on people’s bones. And collectors would pay incredible amounts for this art.

  42. A wild hunt begins after it becomes known that famous street artist Zok has undercover as a fake surgeon put their art on people’s bones. And collectors would pay incredible amounts for this art.

  43. The tiny perforations along the line of the bones seemed at first to be simply the result of ossophagic bacteria, until we heard the unnerving whistling of the wind through the boneyard. It was a strange soft music that was surprisingly good at stifling the screams.

  44. The tiny perforations along the line of the bones seemed at first to be simply the result of ossophagic bacteria, until we heard the unnerving whistling of the wind through the boneyard. It was a strange soft music that was surprisingly good at stifling the screams.

  45. Break a phoenix’s wishbone and all your wishes will turn to flame and fire.

    Somewhere in Arizona there is a taxi driver whose teeth are carved with tiny words. But these are old words, obsolete words, and as they recede from this world, they creep into his bones. Who knows what concepts, what ideas his skeleton might hold?

    “Well, doctor, what is wrong with me?” “I cannot explain it, but it seems that your bones are emitting a blue light. I can’t find anything else wrong with you, but I have received an offer for one million dollars for just one bone from your hand or toe … so what do you think about amputation?”

    To create the perfect homunculus you must always start out with a rib. A dog’s rib will give you a loyal companion, a lion’s rib a brave one, but a creature created from a human rib will be nothing but trouble. Unless you use your own, of course. That’s quite different.”

  46. Break a phoenix’s wishbone and all your wishes will turn to flame and fire.

    Somewhere in Arizona there is a taxi driver whose teeth are carved with tiny words. But these are old words, obsolete words, and as they recede from this world, they creep into his bones. Who knows what concepts, what ideas his skeleton might hold?

    “Well, doctor, what is wrong with me?” “I cannot explain it, but it seems that your bones are emitting a blue light. I can’t find anything else wrong with you, but I have received an offer for one million dollars for just one bone from your hand or toe … so what do you think about amputation?”

    To create the perfect homunculus you must always start out with a rib. A dog’s rib will give you a loyal companion, a lion’s rib a brave one, but a creature created from a human rib will be nothing but trouble. Unless you use your own, of course. That’s quite different.”

  47. ‘…and this band of knights rode the land, and pillaged and terrorised it. And their armour turned blade and shot but it was not metal, but was terrible bone grown from their own flesh. These soldiers were not of earth, and I do not confess to know Hell, but surely this is where they are from?’

  48. ‘…and this band of knights rode the land, and pillaged and terrorised it. And their armour turned blade and shot but it was not metal, but was terrible bone grown from their own flesh. These soldiers were not of earth, and I do not confess to know Hell, but surely this is where they are from?’

  49. Renovating the old Jackson house was supposed to be a fun family weekend. But then the walls started bleeding after we tore off the plaster. ‘At least its got good bones,’ I heard myself say as I looked into the wet ruin revealed. Then the kids started screaming from upstairs.

  50. Renovating the old Jackson house was supposed to be a fun family weekend. But then the walls started bleeding after we tore off the plaster. ‘At least its got good bones,’ I heard myself say as I looked into the wet ruin revealed. Then the kids started screaming from upstairs.

  51. This ribcage seems unusually organized, with ribs in two distinct sizes but not a logical pattern to them. Those with only the most obscure knowledge will recognize it for what it truly is: A xylo-bone

  52. This ribcage seems unusually organized, with ribs in two distinct sizes but not a logical pattern to them. Those with only the most obscure knowledge will recognize it for what it truly is: A xylo-bone

  53. Torso bones of this skeleton are intact, as are the internal organs, except the lungs which are missing.

    Bones of rats litter this area. Over 50 rats each with flecks of minerals on their claws.

    You recognise the bones in front of you. These are your bones.

    Your sense of smell tells you the avian bones before you have been preserved with an arcane ritual involving exotic spices and rare herbs.

    The skeletal hands here have an interesting feature. Both index and ring fingers have six joints, making them considerably longer than the others.

    Every piece of this skeleton has runes of the deadly sins carved into it. This creature was indeed bad to the bone.

  54. Torso bones of this skeleton are intact, as are the internal organs, except the lungs which are missing.

    Bones of rats litter this area. Over 50 rats each with flecks of minerals on their claws.

    You recognise the bones in front of you. These are your bones.

    Your sense of smell tells you the avian bones before you have been preserved with an arcane ritual involving exotic spices and rare herbs.

    The skeletal hands here have an interesting feature. Both index and ring fingers have six joints, making them considerably longer than the others.

    Every piece of this skeleton has runes of the deadly sins carved into it. This creature was indeed bad to the bone.

  55. You remember that you will bury those bones sometime in your past. Which is your future. And you will be in a hurry doing so. And afraid. So very very afraid…

  56. You remember that you will bury those bones sometime in your past. Which is your future. And you will be in a hurry doing so. And afraid. So very very afraid…

  57. The unearthed skeleton bore all the signatures of a North Woods Butcher victim. We ran the DNA to see if it matched any of the missing persons associated with the case, and got a hit. On the only victim to escape the killer, still alive and well.

  58. The unearthed skeleton bore all the signatures of a North Woods Butcher victim. We ran the DNA to see if it matched any of the missing persons associated with the case, and got a hit. On the only victim to escape the killer, still alive and well.

  59. After the first earthquake, a superstitious few noted the timing between scientific discovery and tectonic disaster, but were heartily dismissed. The massive osseous plate was declared a skull fragment of a prehistoric titan, enshrined in the Royal Museum, and gentlemen-scientists descended en masse across the land to mine for their own legacies. Now, if one cut the bones out from any vertebrate creature, what can one expect? Now extrapolate: what if one did the same to a planet?

  60. After the first earthquake, a superstitious few noted the timing between scientific discovery and tectonic disaster, but were heartily dismissed. The massive osseous plate was declared a skull fragment of a prehistoric titan, enshrined in the Royal Museum, and gentlemen-scientists descended en masse across the land to mine for their own legacies. Now, if one cut the bones out from any vertebrate creature, what can one expect? Now extrapolate: what if one did the same to a planet?

  61. An office of the national labs burned down recently, taking out the entire population of specimen rats. When the rat’s skeletons were taken to animal control for disposal, their bones showed signs of extensive tool use, and even handedness!

  62. An office of the national labs burned down recently, taking out the entire population of specimen rats. When the rat’s skeletons were taken to animal control for disposal, their bones showed signs of extensive tool use, and even handedness!

  63. I don’t need an X-ray to see whats wrong here! Can’t you see? His femurs are where his humerus should be, and don’t get me started on the order of the ribs. How did this happen without any cuts or scaring?!

  64. I don’t need an X-ray to see whats wrong here! Can’t you see? His femurs are where his humerus should be, and don’t get me started on the order of the ribs. How did this happen without any cuts or scaring?!

  65. You can feel the music from the bone flute as it weaves its way into your body. Your own bones start to itch, then spines of bone erupt from beneath your flesh as the transformation begins.

  66. You can feel the music from the bone flute as it weaves its way into your body. Your own bones start to itch, then spines of bone erupt from beneath your flesh as the transformation begins.

  67. The first emperor brought unity at a great cost, he burned all writings that conflicted with his vision. When he found that scholars were memorizing the forbidden texts, he burned them too. Legends said that the scholars had memories so precise that their knowledge was was in their bones. Centuries later, we found microscopic markings on the insides of the bones, and they match texts smuggled out before the purge.

  68. The first emperor brought unity at a great cost, he burned all writings that conflicted with his vision. When he found that scholars were memorizing the forbidden texts, he burned them too. Legends said that the scholars had memories so precise that their knowledge was was in their bones. Centuries later, we found microscopic markings on the insides of the bones, and they match texts smuggled out before the purge.

  69. Today athletic debates center around skeletal replacement. Carbon fiber and other super materials are not only lighter and stronger but can be customized for longer strides, enhanced mobility and even extra joints.

  70. Today athletic debates center around skeletal replacement. Carbon fiber and other super materials are not only lighter and stronger but can be customized for longer strides, enhanced mobility and even extra joints.

  71. Most don’t know that Merlin had his wand engraved into his own radius. Fewer still know how it’s been passed down from Master to Apprentice ever since.

  72. Most don’t know that Merlin had his wand engraved into his own radius. Fewer still know how it’s been passed down from Master to Apprentice ever since.

  73. There are many portals to other worlds. Some are made of candy cotton, some are made of sugar canes. Some are made of clouds, some are made of silk, and there are also those of wood or black iron. Enter them, and if you stay true to yourself and are willing to change, you’ll be fine. But there is also a portal made of bone, and it leads only to sorrow, grief and pain. Do not go in, unless your heart is devoid of hope. Nothing good will come of it.

  74. There are many portals to other worlds. Some are made of candy cotton, some are made of sugar canes. Some are made of clouds, some are made of silk, and there are also those of wood or black iron. Enter them, and if you stay true to yourself and are willing to change, you’ll be fine. But there is also a portal made of bone, and it leads only to sorrow, grief and pain. Do not go in, unless your heart is devoid of hope. Nothing good will come of it.

  75. After slaying the skeleton hordes of the necropolis, the knights made a horrifying discovery as they investigated what their enemy had been hiding and protecting: a nest full of bones eggs, each one by one hatching into small animated skeletons.

  76. After slaying the skeleton hordes of the necropolis, the knights made a horrifying discovery as they investigated what their enemy had been hiding and protecting: a nest full of bones eggs, each one by one hatching into small animated skeletons.

  77. Created from the woven bones of highway roadkill, the sign outside Ronda’s Highway Grill is in ever state guide book as a “must see”. Of course, tourists are often disappointed to discover its miniature scale, and the utterly disappointing offerings at Ronda’s for ‘food’. Only regulars ever notice that the bones in the sign never stay quite the same.

  78. Created from the woven bones of highway roadkill, the sign outside Ronda’s Highway Grill is in ever state guide book as a “must see”. Of course, tourists are often disappointed to discover its miniature scale, and the utterly disappointing offerings at Ronda’s for ‘food’. Only regulars ever notice that the bones in the sign never stay quite the same.

  79. The bones were stacked on crude shelves either side of the already narrow passage through the catacomb. Every few feet a skull peered out from its nest of long bones, or a pelvis cradled vertebrae and ribs. The cats were everywhere weaving among the shelves; their progress heralded by an intermittent rattle on the edge of the torchlight …

  80. The bones were stacked on crude shelves either side of the already narrow passage through the catacomb. Every few feet a skull peered out from its nest of long bones, or a pelvis cradled vertebrae and ribs. The cats were everywhere weaving among the shelves; their progress heralded by an intermittent rattle on the edge of the torchlight …

  81. Who’s your voodoo daddy?

    I’m your voodoo daddy, and I’m cooking up a stock

    I’ve got 37 cock bones in this big, black, pot

    And you want to keep that man?

    You want some brand new socks?

    See your big bad voodoo daddy.

    My pot is getting hot.

  82. Who’s your voodoo daddy?

    I’m your voodoo daddy, and I’m cooking up a stock

    I’ve got 37 cock bones in this big, black, pot

    And you want to keep that man?

    You want some brand new socks?

    See your big bad voodoo daddy.

    My pot is getting hot.

  83. This body was found in park yesterday in a pool of his own blood however his skeleton appears to be at least 700 years old, fossilization has begun, and there are ritualistic carvings at various points.

  84. This body was found in park yesterday in a pool of his own blood however his skeleton appears to be at least 700 years old, fossilization has begun, and there are ritualistic carvings at various points.

  85. “Drink it!” he urges through wooden teeth, “It’s good for you!” He presses the mason jar to your lips, but you can’t swallow. You see them, his real teeth, settled to the bottom of the jar of this pale green ichor.

  86. “Drink it!” he urges through wooden teeth, “It’s good for you!” He presses the mason jar to your lips, but you can’t swallow. You see them, his real teeth, settled to the bottom of the jar of this pale green ichor.

  87. It wasn’t until I got older, and the scales started to appear, that I began to question my father’s habit of picking his teeth with snake ribs. I thought it was common to have that many snakes in the house. I thought my dad sold belts! Now that he’s gone, I’ve started to pick up his old habits, and I keep a little dish of snake ribs by the sink.

  88. It wasn’t until I got older, and the scales started to appear, that I began to question my father’s habit of picking his teeth with snake ribs. I thought it was common to have that many snakes in the house. I thought my dad sold belts! Now that he’s gone, I’ve started to pick up his old habits, and I keep a little dish of snake ribs by the sink.

  89. After 17 years, he no longer worried about them finding the body. He even brought his kids to the park, though he avoided that particular hillside. But some volunteer had thought it would be fun to decorate the lobby with stuff they’d found in the woods. There, among the turtle shells, deer antlers, and possum skulls, were unmistakable human teeth, his buddy’s many cavities right where they’d always been.

  90. After 17 years, he no longer worried about them finding the body. He even brought his kids to the park, though he avoided that particular hillside. But some volunteer had thought it would be fun to decorate the lobby with stuff they’d found in the woods. There, among the turtle shells, deer antlers, and possum skulls, were unmistakable human teeth, his buddy’s many cavities right where they’d always been.

  91. A simple pair of dice. Their surface is cool to the touch and the pips are almost impossible to read. But if you squint at them after casting them you can feel a tapping deep inside your left femur for each count of the dice.

  92. A simple pair of dice. Their surface is cool to the touch and the pips are almost impossible to read. But if you squint at them after casting them you can feel a tapping deep inside your left femur for each count of the dice.

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