I want to get some feedback about a move for my next issue of Sword Breaker.

I want to get some feedback about a move for my next issue of Sword Breaker.

I want to get some feedback about a move for my next issue of Sword Breaker. The theme for the issue is Thundarr-esque, post-apocalyptic, mutants and magic. I want to embrace the outlandish aspects of the setting.

This move is intended to reflect the risky fun of starting up a mysterious vehicle and trying to pilot/drive it. I think it would be boring for the machine to never get moving so I’m starting with action and making the danger/failure be about what happens next. How can I improve this move?

When you operate a vehicle that is new to you, roll+INT

On a 10+ You get the machine moving at a high rate of speed and figure out how to control it.

On a 7-9 You get the machine moving at a high rate of speed and choose 2

* You understand how to slow down and stop

* You are able to avoid crashing immediately

* You don’t damage the engine

38 thoughts on “I want to get some feedback about a move for my next issue of Sword Breaker.”

  1. I don’t really like the second option. It feels like a tax, and I can’t immediately imagine how picking the other two instead would lead to sensible fiction. Actually I’m not sure how you can avoid damaging the engine if you don’t know how to slow down either.

    Also, if you want to play up how weird and mysterious vehicles can be, that’s not really present in this move. It snowballs, but it doesn’t present vehicles as unique and unpredictable.

    Maybe something like this?

    On a hit, the vehicle lurches to life under your command, but one weird, ostensibly helpful system on the vehicle is now active in a way that complicates your situation. On a 10+, you can either avoid the complication and gain control of that system, or discover a second system that is also behaving strangely.

  2. I don’t really like the second option. It feels like a tax, and I can’t immediately imagine how picking the other two instead would lead to sensible fiction. Actually I’m not sure how you can avoid damaging the engine if you don’t know how to slow down either.

    Also, if you want to play up how weird and mysterious vehicles can be, that’s not really present in this move. It snowballs, but it doesn’t present vehicles as unique and unpredictable.

    Maybe something like this?

    On a hit, the vehicle lurches to life under your command, but one weird, ostensibly helpful system on the vehicle is now active in a way that complicates your situation. On a 10+, you can either avoid the complication and gain control of that system, or discover a second system that is also behaving strangely.

  3. Thanks James Etheridge!

    I get your point about option 2. I’ll ditch that. Probably option 3 as well.

    These mysterious machines may be confusing to the characters but might be familiar to the players. It could just be a motorcycle for example. I think I have an idea inspired by your input. Let me know if you think of anything else.

  4. Thanks James Etheridge!

    I get your point about option 2. I’ll ditch that. Probably option 3 as well.

    These mysterious machines may be confusing to the characters but might be familiar to the players. It could just be a motorcycle for example. I think I have an idea inspired by your input. Let me know if you think of anything else.

  5. Paging Ray Otus — would you like to paste your “Operating the Mole Machine” move from Kazarak here, or to Logan directly? It sounds like a close fit, just more specific than what he’s going for.

  6. Paging Ray Otus — would you like to paste your “Operating the Mole Machine” move from Kazarak here, or to Logan directly? It sounds like a close fit, just more specific than what he’s going for.

  7. How much time/attention are you willing to give these strange vehicles?

    If you’re willing to give them some significant space, I think it’d be cool to stat them up similar to monsters, with instincts, tags, and GM moves (and maybe costs, like followers).

    And then your “operate a vehicle that is new to you move” could be a hold-and-spend move, where on a 7+ the vehicle roars to life and hold 1 Control (on a 7-9) or 4 control (on a 10+). Spend control 1-for-1 to…

    * Discover one of its moves or tags, and, if appropriate, immediately employ it to good effect

    * Keep it steady/running/in control when it is damaged, stressed, or pushed to its limits

    * ???

    Note that you can do the things above without spending Control, but it’ll probably require triggering moves (like Spout Lore or Discern Realities for the first one, and Defy Danger for the second).

  8. How much time/attention are you willing to give these strange vehicles?

    If you’re willing to give them some significant space, I think it’d be cool to stat them up similar to monsters, with instincts, tags, and GM moves (and maybe costs, like followers).

    And then your “operate a vehicle that is new to you move” could be a hold-and-spend move, where on a 7+ the vehicle roars to life and hold 1 Control (on a 7-9) or 4 control (on a 10+). Spend control 1-for-1 to…

    * Discover one of its moves or tags, and, if appropriate, immediately employ it to good effect

    * Keep it steady/running/in control when it is damaged, stressed, or pushed to its limits

    * ???

    Note that you can do the things above without spending Control, but it’ll probably require triggering moves (like Spout Lore or Discern Realities for the first one, and Defy Danger for the second).

  9. Do you have a specific vehicle in mind? or is this move intended to be generic for any vehicle they come accross? If its specific I would be interested to see if you can further develop the move to be about a particular vehicle. the existing 7-9 choices feel limiting,

    Avoiding a crash seems like a must pick, but if you choose not to damage the engine as well, how would they eventually stop the vehicle?

    Maybe an option like “it’s original owner won’t know it’s gone for a while.” I think you are on the right track, just need to work through a couple iterations.

    Best of luck.

  10. Do you have a specific vehicle in mind? or is this move intended to be generic for any vehicle they come accross? If its specific I would be interested to see if you can further develop the move to be about a particular vehicle. the existing 7-9 choices feel limiting,

    Avoiding a crash seems like a must pick, but if you choose not to damage the engine as well, how would they eventually stop the vehicle?

    Maybe an option like “it’s original owner won’t know it’s gone for a while.” I think you are on the right track, just need to work through a couple iterations.

    Best of luck.

  11. Great feedback!

    Jeremy Strandberg, I was thinking about this as a very generic sort of thing the GM could keep in mind when littering the landscape with ancient and alien stuff. Now I might need to rethink my whole approach…

    Jeremy Scott, You’re right. I’ll throw out some different ideas to see if they would be better.

  12. Great feedback!

    Jeremy Strandberg, I was thinking about this as a very generic sort of thing the GM could keep in mind when littering the landscape with ancient and alien stuff. Now I might need to rethink my whole approach…

    Jeremy Scott, You’re right. I’ll throw out some different ideas to see if they would be better.

  13. This simpler but might reflect the tough choice:

    When you operate a vehicle that is new to you, roll+INT

    On a 10+ You get the machine moving at a high rate of speed and figure out how to control it.

    On a 7-9 You get the machine moving at a high rate of speed and choose 1

    * You understand how to slow down and stop

    * You understand what the vehicle is capable of

    That way, if they jump into a tank, they may have to choose between understanding that it can also shoot at stuff and knowing how to make it stop before plowing through half the town.

  14. This simpler but might reflect the tough choice:

    When you operate a vehicle that is new to you, roll+INT

    On a 10+ You get the machine moving at a high rate of speed and figure out how to control it.

    On a 7-9 You get the machine moving at a high rate of speed and choose 1

    * You understand how to slow down and stop

    * You understand what the vehicle is capable of

    That way, if they jump into a tank, they may have to choose between understanding that it can also shoot at stuff and knowing how to make it stop before plowing through half the town.

  15. Charles Gatz is right, Logan Howard. Maybe you should riff off of what I was doing with the Mole Machine and open up the possibility of these weird vehicles having unexpected powers. Here’s how I might do it (feel free to ignore or use all of it).

    When you operate a particular vehicle of the ancients for the first time, roll+INT

    On a 12+ The machine responds beautiful to your control. Also, hold 3. Spend hold to:

    • Execute a crazy maneuver (jumping a canyon, for instance).

    • Discover some new capability of the machine – like a tractor beam or a harpoon gun.

    • Lock the machine to prevent theft/use by others when you walk away from it.

    On a 10+ You are able to get the machine moving and reasonably able maneuver it – go, stop, turn, up/down, etc.

    On a 7-9 You get the machine moving and can steer it, choose 2.

    • You understand how to slow down and stop

    • It doesn’t run out of power or break after the first couple of hours

    • The machine isn’t (also) controlled by an ancient intelligence device with its own agenda

  16. Charles Gatz is right, Logan Howard. Maybe you should riff off of what I was doing with the Mole Machine and open up the possibility of these weird vehicles having unexpected powers. Here’s how I might do it (feel free to ignore or use all of it).

    When you operate a particular vehicle of the ancients for the first time, roll+INT

    On a 12+ The machine responds beautiful to your control. Also, hold 3. Spend hold to:

    • Execute a crazy maneuver (jumping a canyon, for instance).

    • Discover some new capability of the machine – like a tractor beam or a harpoon gun.

    • Lock the machine to prevent theft/use by others when you walk away from it.

    On a 10+ You are able to get the machine moving and reasonably able maneuver it – go, stop, turn, up/down, etc.

    On a 7-9 You get the machine moving and can steer it, choose 2.

    • You understand how to slow down and stop

    • It doesn’t run out of power or break after the first couple of hours

    • The machine isn’t (also) controlled by an ancient intelligence device with its own agenda

  17. (Not sure about choosing 2 of 3. Might be better just to flip the sentences to three bad things that happen and say choose 1. Or give more options and say The GM chooses 1 from the remainder. That would be fun. Say you have a list of 6 things, you rule out two then I pick the bad one – but you may not know what it is yet!)

  18. (Not sure about choosing 2 of 3. Might be better just to flip the sentences to three bad things that happen and say choose 1. Or give more options and say The GM chooses 1 from the remainder. That would be fun. Say you have a list of 6 things, you rule out two then I pick the bad one – but you may not know what it is yet!)

  19. PS. I like Jeremy Strandberg’s question about ownership. That’s good. I also like your idea about ‘understanding it’s capabilities.’ I might handle the latter though with describing vehicles like creatures and giving them moves:

    Grav-Sled of the Ancients. Intelligent, “magical” (any sufficiently advanced tech…), “wings,” capacity 4 (a new tag to indicate how many passengers). Instinct: to defy gravity. Moves: zoom out of sight, automatically return to keyholder, drop an ensnaring net, suck energy out of sunlight.

    I don’t know. That’s just off the top of my head.

  20. PS. I like Jeremy Strandberg’s question about ownership. That’s good. I also like your idea about ‘understanding it’s capabilities.’ I might handle the latter though with describing vehicles like creatures and giving them moves:

    Grav-Sled of the Ancients. Intelligent, “magical” (any sufficiently advanced tech…), “wings,” capacity 4 (a new tag to indicate how many passengers). Instinct: to defy gravity. Moves: zoom out of sight, automatically return to keyholder, drop an ensnaring net, suck energy out of sunlight.

    I don’t know. That’s just off the top of my head.

  21. Here’s something I came up with…

    When you encounter an unfamiliar vehicle that may enable you to escape from a dangerous situation, name two unique systems that you think will help your frenzied flight.

    (Examples: Heli-rotors, exhaust pipes belching thick black smoke, glowing arcane gun turrets, sulphur-spewers, tank treads, panther limbs, psionic focusing array, the beating heart of an enslaved demon)

    ☐________________________________

    ☐________________________________

    When you operate this vehicle while danger nips at your heels, roll+systems. On a 10+, hold 2. On a 7-9, hold 1 but choose a system and describe how it fails.

    Spend 2 hold to arrive at your chosen destination, within a distance of one day’s march, but the danger is only one step behind.

    Spend 3 hold to arrive at your chosen destination, within a distance of one day’s march, with just enough time to prepare for the danger’s arrival.

    Spend 4 hold to arrive at your chosen destination, within a distance of one day’s march; describe how the danger is thoroughly averted.

    When all systems have failed, you lose your hold and the vehicle breaks down.

  22. Here’s something I came up with…

    When you encounter an unfamiliar vehicle that may enable you to escape from a dangerous situation, name two unique systems that you think will help your frenzied flight.

    (Examples: Heli-rotors, exhaust pipes belching thick black smoke, glowing arcane gun turrets, sulphur-spewers, tank treads, panther limbs, psionic focusing array, the beating heart of an enslaved demon)

    ☐________________________________

    ☐________________________________

    When you operate this vehicle while danger nips at your heels, roll+systems. On a 10+, hold 2. On a 7-9, hold 1 but choose a system and describe how it fails.

    Spend 2 hold to arrive at your chosen destination, within a distance of one day’s march, but the danger is only one step behind.

    Spend 3 hold to arrive at your chosen destination, within a distance of one day’s march, with just enough time to prepare for the danger’s arrival.

    Spend 4 hold to arrive at your chosen destination, within a distance of one day’s march; describe how the danger is thoroughly averted.

    When all systems have failed, you lose your hold and the vehicle breaks down.

  23. Cool idea Ray Otus! I could make them pick one of these:

    * Something that seems important breaks off

    * It moves in a way you don’t think it should

    * It is going MUCH faster than you want it to

    * You’re pretty sure something is fighting you for control

    * It’s starting to sputter and lose speed/altitude

    I’m starting to really want to write up some vehicles now. I guess this zine will be a while longer in the making!

  24. Cool idea Ray Otus! I could make them pick one of these:

    * Something that seems important breaks off

    * It moves in a way you don’t think it should

    * It is going MUCH faster than you want it to

    * You’re pretty sure something is fighting you for control

    * It’s starting to sputter and lose speed/altitude

    I’m starting to really want to write up some vehicles now. I guess this zine will be a while longer in the making!

  25. I dig how you wrote those, BTW. “something is fighting you for control” is brilliant – more open-ended. Could be an AI, could be a wizard, could be a remora-like techno creature hanging off the bottom…

  26. I dig how you wrote those, BTW. “something is fighting you for control” is brilliant – more open-ended. Could be an AI, could be a wizard, could be a remora-like techno creature hanging off the bottom…

  27. This is why I love these G+ communities. I shared a move i wasn’t happy with and now I have a lot of ideas for my zine that will make it way more fun! I’ll be sure to credit all of you in the issue.

  28. This is why I love these G+ communities. I shared a move i wasn’t happy with and now I have a lot of ideas for my zine that will make it way more fun! I’ll be sure to credit all of you in the issue.

  29. I pulled the move out of my “Moves” section and created a “Vehicles” section. I’m very excited to work on it this weekend! Thanks everyone!

  30. I pulled the move out of my “Moves” section and created a “Vehicles” section. I’m very excited to work on it this weekend! Thanks everyone!

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