I have been going back and forth for several weeks about whether I wanted to share this with the community or not. My instinct was to not share it, because it’s a personal thing, but ultimately I realized I had to, because to not do so would mean coming up with strange, improbable excuses for why my circumstances have changed so dramatically.
My partner of 5+ years and I are taking a break. I made the decision to move out of our apartment in NJ and, in the short term, until I can get things sorted out, I am staying with my folks in Oklahoma. This situation has put a lot of emotional and financial pressure on me, and the last month or so has been pretty chaotic. I am doing my best to figure everything out, to pick up the pieces of my life and move forward, but it’s probably going to take some time. I may not be as available as I always have been in the past. I will almost certainly have to cancel a few commitments I made for this year.
I appreciate the strange, sad irony that I have helped build a community that has caring, positive relationships at its core, but that I have been unable to salvage my own personal, romantic relationship. More than anything, I just feel incredibly isolated. Every day just feels so oppressively hollow. I put on my GM mask or my podcast mask, and everything is fine for a few hours, but then I go back to just feeling like a failure. And that’s the part I can’t shake, that sense of failure.
So anyway, this is where I’m at right now. It’s a tough time, but I’m dealing with it. Just an FYI to the community.
