Category: The Gauntlet: Hail Satan

What is a marriage? A miserable little pile of secrets! The Gauntlet is your life partner now…have at you!

#HailSatan

Comrades of the Gauntlet!

Tomorrow is the state-sponsored, mandatory fun! We will begin with the Ritual Hatred promptly at noon, during which time we shall spend two minutes steadily beating a Pathfinder player with truncheons and burning stacks of Shadowrun modules in the Revolutionary Pyre! 

Latecomers will be shot.

Anyone suggesting we play a game that is not on the approved list will be sent away for re-education, where they will be forced to reflect on their terrible choices in life while struggling to maintain a sense of personal identity amidst the horrors of their never-ending  existential nightmare. 

We hope to see you there!

#HailSatan

The Gauntlet (and G+ more broadly) is my corner of the RPG-related internet. I do not hang out at places like RPG.net because 1) I am not a sociopath and 2) I like to hold myself accountable for my statements. I actually hang out with many of you in real life, so if I say something outlandish or offensive on G+, I know I’ll eventually get finger-wagged for it in person. For example, I never heard the end of it for my facetious comment about Owl Conners a few weeks back. 

So, with that in mind, let me make the following statement(s): you are a goddamned idiot if the reason you are not playing Dungeon World is because you find its evangelists annoying. If you are turning your nose up at indie games in general because you think they are for “hipsters” or “hippies,” you are the worst sort of insufferable moron and I hope you spend your weekends lonesomely thumbing through giant, coffee table-sized rule books for games you’ll never play.

Last year, we organized nearly 200 gaming sessions. This year, we’re already up to 56! Think about that. Try to imagine what it must be like to game that often. I know there are some of you who wish you could game every week. Guess what, motherfuckers? You can! All you have to do is show up to one of the many, many events we lay out before you. Or, better yet, organize your own events!

Now, some of you have legit reasons for not coming to a Gauntlet event. I get it. Work happens. Children happen. But for many of you, the reason you don’t show up is because you look down on the games we run. You think they’re too “rules light” or they’re for “hipsters” or they’re not the game in which you’ve invested hundreds of dollars. If that is your perspective, and you are unwilling to challenge it, you should probably look at ALL of the choices you have made in your life, because there are likely more important things than gaming that have been suffering due to your lack of flexibility and thoughtfulness. 

All of this is to say the water on our end of the pool is warm and inviting. Dive in, motherfuckers. Dive in. 

#HailSatan