Category: The Gauntlet: Hail Satan

While reading through the rules for Regency Ladies in preparation for tonight’s game, I had a bit of a heart palpitation when I thought the game would not have checkboxes. “What is this?” I asked myself. “A Grant Howitt game without checkboxes?” Fortunately, I was wrong, and found the part of the rules that would definitely require a checkbox of some sort. 

But then I realized there are no checkboxes on the character sheet. 

And now I feel desperate and alone. 

I watched the new Avengers movie this weekend. It was pretty good, particularly in that it may have felt like a bloated mess in the hands of a lesser director. There were a few things I had problems with, though…

-Why did Ultron have moving lips? Whenever he was onscreen, those lips were all I could focus on. And I don’t mean just a mechanical jaw going up and down; he had fully articulated lips! Also, the dance sequence with Ultron and all his little Ultrons during the end credits was a bit off to me, tone-wise. 

-Also, I don’t think Eric Stoltz was the right move for Ultron’s voice.

-Jeremy Renner is about as uncharismatic as actors come. I was glad to see the heavy focus on his character’s background and home life was setting us up for his death. Good riddance!

-This movie’s version of Quiksilver is so much lamer than the one in X-Men: Age of Apokalips. 

-The accents of the two new actors were annoying as hell. I can do a way better Sekovian accent, and I’m not even from there!

-Why was the Hulk purple in this one?

-I’m a little bored with Loki. This is, what, his fifth movie appearance? Come on, Marvel, there are so many awesome villains you could be using, like, I don’t know, the Joker???

-When is Iron Man going to finally get it on with the Terrence Howard character? I feel like they have been building up to that for a long time now, and I’m ready for the pay off. Especially with that show Empire Records being such a big hit, you’d think they’d want to find a way to give that character more screen time. 

-Has Paul Bettany always been the voice of Alfred? I feel like it used to be someone different. 

All in all, though, a pretty good movie. Nicely paced, snappy dialogue, and, like I said, it miraculously manages to introduce a ton of new characters without feeling bloated. It just goes to show you, in the hands of a good director, you can do the impossible! 

Russell Benner’s contribution to our Saturday game. He can also get us some sweet discounts with his AARP card.

Someone needs to make a freeform game about drag queens in a reality TV competition. I’d pay five American dollars for that!