The Hall of Legends #002 – Professor Oliver Threefell

The Hall of Legends #002 – Professor Oliver Threefell

Date: June 2nd, 2013

Game: The Shab-al-Hiri Roach

Players: Daniel Lewis Rob Ferguson Len Pokryfke Myself

The Shab-al-Hiri Roach has a lot of issues, mechanically-speaking. The author, Jason Morningstar, has said on several occasions he would like to revisit the game and tweak its rules, given it was one of his first efforts and he has learned a lot about game design in the ensuing years. Still, the game is very compelling due to its premise, which is one of the most exhilerating out there. In short, it’s a game about college professors engaging in petty rivalries with one another in an attempt to acquire the most prestige on campus. Oh, there’s also an ancient Sumerian god-king in the form of a cockroach who occasionally crawls into a professor’s mouth, digs into his or her brain meat, and enslaves them to do his bidding. 

The tone is dark and comedic (and perfect). You won’t find a more poisonous love letter to academia anywhere else. Initially, the professors attempt to get what they want by leveraging their area of academic expertise. They brag about their latest paper at the wine and cheese social, hector and schmooze the school’s administrators for project funding, and use gossip and innuendo to tear down the work of their rivals. Eventually, though, one or more of them becomes thrall to the Roach. These professors, in their singled-minded quest for power at the college, present an opportunity to the Roach, who (incorrectly) believes he can use them as vessels for world domination. The result is that roach-enslaved professors still only seek their petty, low-stakes goals, but now they do so with the fanaticism and vigor of an ancient king who is accustomed to being worshipped, and who uses violence to achieve his ends. 

This particular brand of gonzo villainy was perfectly represented in Dan’s character, Professor Oliver Threefell. Professor Threefell was an expert in Mayan languages, and his principle goal was to receive funding for a massive, cross-disciplinary project with the anthropology department. After he took the Roach, however, his knowledge of ancient Mayan cultures informed a shift to a goal of recreating that civilization right on campus, with himself in the center of it all as god and king.  

Professor Threefell’s descent into madness began when, after being enslaved by the Roach, a card draw forced him to claim the school’s auditorium as a sacred space from which he could never leave. Initially, this was a pretty humorous situation, as he had to come-up with all manner of excuses for why he was not only working in the auditorium, but also living there. The school accepted his reasoning, but things only descended from there. In planning the annual Follies musical production, for example, Professor Threefell convinced the director to go with an ancient Mayan theme. During the actual show, at which point Professor Threefell was in full god-complex mode, he was the star of the final number, which saw him costumed in the feathered headdress of an ancient king, standing over an altar with a ceremonial dagger, which he plunged into the heart of the lovely young co-ed who was his co-star. The audience, believing this to be a brilliant bit of stagecraft, leapt to their feet and gave a thunderous ovation. Professor Threefell, of course, interpreted this applause as worship, which only added fuel to his delusional fire. In the end, Professor Threefell lived out his days in the auditorium, at the center of a papier-mâché ziggurat his minions from the football team helped him build. The school, wishing to avoid a scandal, covered-up his various crimes and explained away the ziggurat as a performance art project, which received no small amount of attention from the fine arts press. 

That particular session was one of our first Story Game Sundays, and Dan set the bar high for good characterization. Professor Threefell was an outstanding villain by almost any measure, but particularly so in how he represented the wicked spirit of The Shab-al-Hiri Roach. He was a great character, and probably one of my personal favorites of all time, and so he is our second inductee into the Gauntlet Hall of Legends.