This piece by Kate Bullock made me cry. There is so much truth in it. So much.
Just speaking for myself, I am still being punished three years later for a social media post that, while poorly conceived, certainly did not warrant me being doxxed for it and banned from participating in convention panels. It did not warrant the cold shoulder I still get from so many game designers in the indie space, game designers whose work I still champion despite the fact they are assholes. Honestly, that the Gauntlet is even still here is a testament to my grit, because a lot of people, like Kate says in her piece, would have said “fuck it” and walked away from the hobby.
(Here is the part where my better angels won out and I decided to not tag all the people from the above incident into this post. You’re welcome.)
Anyway, this piece is really great. I highly recommend it.
http://www.bluestockings.ca/2018/03/girl-gamer-path-of-perfection.html?spref=gp
Agreed, fantastic piece. I’m glad you and Kate stuck around very much!! Can’t imagine who I’d be if I hadn’t met you both; as well as what state the hobby and community would be in currently, honestly.
Agreed, fantastic piece. I’m glad you and Kate stuck around very much!! Can’t imagine who I’d be if I hadn’t met you both; as well as what state the hobby and community would be in currently, honestly.
This is good.
This is good.
I always feel like I don’t really do enough, I feel like I want to engage more but don’t have a lot of time to do so. It always boggles my mind that this stuff goes on, but I am not in the position of often having it directed at me, so it makes things harder to see.
I always feel like I don’t really do enough, I feel like I want to engage more but don’t have a lot of time to do so. It always boggles my mind that this stuff goes on, but I am not in the position of often having it directed at me, so it makes things harder to see.
Fraser Simons You’re a major reason I’ve stuck around. Your support and friendship has helped me in a huge way over the last couple of years.
Fraser Simons You’re a major reason I’ve stuck around. Your support and friendship has helped me in a huge way over the last couple of years.
Always here for you whenever you need, I feel the same.
Always here for you whenever you need, I feel the same.
Much love to Kate and you. Things like this make me feel super isolated from the RPG ‘community’ – all I’ve ever seen on both of you is your thoughtful insights and passion for community building. But if the community is this judgemental and clique-y, I’m happy to be isolated from it.
Much love to Kate and you. Things like this make me feel super isolated from the RPG ‘community’ – all I’ve ever seen on both of you is your thoughtful insights and passion for community building. But if the community is this judgemental and clique-y, I’m happy to be isolated from it.
(((((hugs))))
(((((hugs))))
<3
<3
I’m very grateful that both of you are still around.
I’m very grateful that both of you are still around.
I support you.
I support you.
I am so sorry that both of you have to deal with all this shit, and I am even more grateful that you both persevere. I might mostly be a lurker, but this community makes me feel like I belong. It is my quiet port where I can sit down in a corner and listen. It makes me feel welcome, and I appreciate what you both do to keep it this way.
It was going to be long reply, but I think this is not the time, nor the place. Just know that there are people who, like me, are not very vocal, but appreciate what you do.
I am so sorry that both of you have to deal with all this shit, and I am even more grateful that you both persevere. I might mostly be a lurker, but this community makes me feel like I belong. It is my quiet port where I can sit down in a corner and listen. It makes me feel welcome, and I appreciate what you both do to keep it this way.
It was going to be long reply, but I think this is not the time, nor the place. Just know that there are people who, like me, are not very vocal, but appreciate what you do.
Really fantastic piece, Kate Bullock! Much support for you and I’m so glad you have joined the Gauntlet!
Really fantastic piece, Kate Bullock! Much support for you and I’m so glad you have joined the Gauntlet!
Brandon Leon-Gambetta (And I think I’ve growled and muttered at Jason about how pissed I am at his having to deal with his things that he knows he’s got my constant earnest support)
Brandon Leon-Gambetta (And I think I’ve growled and muttered at Jason about how pissed I am at his having to deal with his things that he knows he’s got my constant earnest support)
I don’t believe for a second that Kate Bullock is or has ever been a “token”. It baffles me that someone would actively try to prevent more integration into what they viewed as an exclusive group. I hope that this community will just keep welcoming and loving in the face of these accusations. Perhaps I have missed something (as a white man, it may have gone over my head) but I have never seen even a hint of dismissal or disrespect for anyone based on their color, gender, preferences or expression in this community. I HAVE seen smear campaigns and abuse thrown from the outside. The notion that Kate could be used as a token is insulting. As if she would let that happen. As if she wouldn’t have enough character or a powerful enough voice to overcome any attempt to make a mascot out of her. As far as I can tell, she is viewed as a leader in this space. Her perspective is admired and her opinions are sought after. Even if everything the detractors warned about were true, I would put my money on Kate Bullock to break the community rather than the other way around.
Here are my impressions of Kate’s voice in this community:
1 – Players and GMs are challenged by her enthusiasm for entering into difficult territory. I have not had the privilege of playing with her (because I don’t usually have the time or resources to play at all) but must admit the prospect is intimidating because, from her discussions on the podcasts and her posts, she seems like a GM that will see an opportunity to take emotional play deeper and “go there”.
2 – She’s a major advocate for frank discussion and expects players to do their work. My understanding of her position is that players at the table have a duty to the game and other players that is every bit as solemn as the GM’s. She has mentioned a lack of patience for players who detract from her games with selfish or reckless play.
3 – She is a tireless practitioner of the craft. I know from the volume of her work and her thoughtful comments that she is constantly working to become a better role player. She’s in a league above most because of her own hard labor.
Anyone who would accuse Jason Cordova, of putting someone on the podcast as a mere token doesn’t listen to him. More importantly, Kate Bullock could never be a token in the Gauntlet community, or anywhere for that matter, because her voice is clear and strong and should be trusted to overcome any force that would seek to use it for show alone.
I don’t believe for a second that Kate Bullock is or has ever been a “token”. It baffles me that someone would actively try to prevent more integration into what they viewed as an exclusive group. I hope that this community will just keep welcoming and loving in the face of these accusations. Perhaps I have missed something (as a white man, it may have gone over my head) but I have never seen even a hint of dismissal or disrespect for anyone based on their color, gender, preferences or expression in this community. I HAVE seen smear campaigns and abuse thrown from the outside. The notion that Kate could be used as a token is insulting. As if she would let that happen. As if she wouldn’t have enough character or a powerful enough voice to overcome any attempt to make a mascot out of her. As far as I can tell, she is viewed as a leader in this space. Her perspective is admired and her opinions are sought after. Even if everything the detractors warned about were true, I would put my money on Kate Bullock to break the community rather than the other way around.
Here are my impressions of Kate’s voice in this community:
1 – Players and GMs are challenged by her enthusiasm for entering into difficult territory. I have not had the privilege of playing with her (because I don’t usually have the time or resources to play at all) but must admit the prospect is intimidating because, from her discussions on the podcasts and her posts, she seems like a GM that will see an opportunity to take emotional play deeper and “go there”.
2 – She’s a major advocate for frank discussion and expects players to do their work. My understanding of her position is that players at the table have a duty to the game and other players that is every bit as solemn as the GM’s. She has mentioned a lack of patience for players who detract from her games with selfish or reckless play.
3 – She is a tireless practitioner of the craft. I know from the volume of her work and her thoughtful comments that she is constantly working to become a better role player. She’s in a league above most because of her own hard labor.
Anyone who would accuse Jason Cordova, of putting someone on the podcast as a mere token doesn’t listen to him. More importantly, Kate Bullock could never be a token in the Gauntlet community, or anywhere for that matter, because her voice is clear and strong and should be trusted to overcome any force that would seek to use it for show alone.
I can’t possibly tell you enough how glad I am to have you and Kate around!
I can’t possibly tell you enough how glad I am to have you and Kate around!
The story games community has had a very, uh, unfriendly segment for a while now. It drives a lot of people, I think, out or silent. It’s difficult to criticize because it does so in the name of good and meritorious goals that the very people it’s attacking agree with and support.
I don’t know how that’s supposed to be fixed. I’m not sure it can – it seems to be a fundamental feature of human group dynamics. I respect you for not bailing in response to it, though.
The story games community has had a very, uh, unfriendly segment for a while now. It drives a lot of people, I think, out or silent. It’s difficult to criticize because it does so in the name of good and meritorious goals that the very people it’s attacking agree with and support.
I don’t know how that’s supposed to be fixed. I’m not sure it can – it seems to be a fundamental feature of human group dynamics. I respect you for not bailing in response to it, though.
I feel like I want to know who’s doing these things, while at the same time I totally get why they don’t get named. Still, I feel like there has to be something than whisper networks.
I feel like I want to know who’s doing these things, while at the same time I totally get why they don’t get named. Still, I feel like there has to be something than whisper networks.
I’ve read this article twice through, and a few parts more than that. There are quite a few places where I can say I’d have described my feelings about my place in a gamer group in much the same way. That includes feeling on the outside or have had my token of identity cashed in for the sake of the group as well as realizing that I have committed just the same offenses described of herself and the other groups. It kills me knowing that this particular safe escape into the imagination is still tangled up in all the bullshit from which, speaking for myself, I trying to escape.
All I can say for myself is that I’m trying to be better, be in better groups, be clear on my own personal boundaries, and be willing to learn – and hopefully not just the hard way every single time.
I’ve read this article twice through, and a few parts more than that. There are quite a few places where I can say I’d have described my feelings about my place in a gamer group in much the same way. That includes feeling on the outside or have had my token of identity cashed in for the sake of the group as well as realizing that I have committed just the same offenses described of herself and the other groups. It kills me knowing that this particular safe escape into the imagination is still tangled up in all the bullshit from which, speaking for myself, I trying to escape.
All I can say for myself is that I’m trying to be better, be in better groups, be clear on my own personal boundaries, and be willing to learn – and hopefully not just the hard way every single time.
Jason Cordova what social media post if you don’t mind me asking?
Jason Cordova what social media post if you don’t mind me asking?
A moving and sad piece. “There’s this habit, you see, of ‘woke’ folk seeing themselves as the guardians of all that is Good and Righteous.” This really resonated with me. There is a segment of the population (generally, and with respect to gamers), that is so theoretically committed to tolerance and diversity that they have convinced themselves of their own righteousness to the point they have no tolerance for any voice that does not agree with them in all respects. For them, the liturgy of social politics has become an end in itself. It seems to me they have become exactly what they despise. They don’t truly value diversity. They value the outsider exclusively (more specifically, the outsider voices who tow their line).
I was a little puzzled by this line: “White women are the weapons of white men, all calling themselves woke or allies or soldiers in the war.” I think I understand what the author is trying to say, but she’s using a pretty broad brush. “White men” is a remarkably broad and diverse demographic. There’s good and bad within that population, just like any other population.
With respect to allegations of tokenism, all I can say is I have enjoyed the author’s contributions to the Gauntlet podcast. It never occurred to me she was solely added to provide gender balance. Even if that somehow were true, it seems to have worked out pretty damn well. There is value in seeking diverse contributors. If those contributors are good contributors (as here), why is anyone wasting time griping about tokenism?
A moving and sad piece. “There’s this habit, you see, of ‘woke’ folk seeing themselves as the guardians of all that is Good and Righteous.” This really resonated with me. There is a segment of the population (generally, and with respect to gamers), that is so theoretically committed to tolerance and diversity that they have convinced themselves of their own righteousness to the point they have no tolerance for any voice that does not agree with them in all respects. For them, the liturgy of social politics has become an end in itself. It seems to me they have become exactly what they despise. They don’t truly value diversity. They value the outsider exclusively (more specifically, the outsider voices who tow their line).
I was a little puzzled by this line: “White women are the weapons of white men, all calling themselves woke or allies or soldiers in the war.” I think I understand what the author is trying to say, but she’s using a pretty broad brush. “White men” is a remarkably broad and diverse demographic. There’s good and bad within that population, just like any other population.
With respect to allegations of tokenism, all I can say is I have enjoyed the author’s contributions to the Gauntlet podcast. It never occurred to me she was solely added to provide gender balance. Even if that somehow were true, it seems to have worked out pretty damn well. There is value in seeking diverse contributors. If those contributors are good contributors (as here), why is anyone wasting time griping about tokenism?