HEY YOU! I hear you like orcs! TELL ME NOW what the BEST thing about them is!

HEY YOU! I hear you like orcs! TELL ME NOW what the BEST thing about them is!

Originally shared by Robert Bohl

HEY YOU! I hear you like orcs! TELL ME NOW what the BEST thing about them is!

(I like how you can enjoy being all shouty with them, among other things. I hope the above has been amusing and not offensive.)

(The preceding is how you can tell I’m an elf or something at heart.)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orc

26 thoughts on “HEY YOU! I hear you like orcs! TELL ME NOW what the BEST thing about them is!”

  1. Depending on the type of orc it can be the mix of noble and savage or the joy of wild abandon. The first one maybe a little problematic if you think to much about it. Also they look damn cool and elves suck :p

  2. Depending on the type of orc it can be the mix of noble and savage or the joy of wild abandon. The first one maybe a little problematic if you think to much about it. Also they look damn cool and elves suck :p

  3. My favorite version of Orcs, which comes up sometimes in LOTR, is the Orc as just a bitter, traumatized person forced to serve in a military venture he hardly understands beyond whatever orders come down from on high.

  4. My favorite version of Orcs, which comes up sometimes in LOTR, is the Orc as just a bitter, traumatized person forced to serve in a military venture he hardly understands beyond whatever orders come down from on high.

  5. Orcs are strong and tough and they have a really short lifespan, so they tend to find the quickest and most straightforward solutions to problems instead of screwing around and thinking long term. Often, that solution is hitting something really really hard, so when they’re a culture in their own right they’re pretty warlike, which means they live even shorter lives then they would otherwise.

    I like that on an individual level, orc characters have a philosophy of cutting through all the endless planning and debating that games can turn into, and that they can be so easily misunderstood as monsters. It’s also cool that they tend to have this shamanistic thing going on, revering spirits and the past because they don’t really have a future.

    Also, green skin and generally ugly is a fantastic break from all the ruggedly handsome or weirdly waifish people you see in fantasy.

  6. Orcs are strong and tough and they have a really short lifespan, so they tend to find the quickest and most straightforward solutions to problems instead of screwing around and thinking long term. Often, that solution is hitting something really really hard, so when they’re a culture in their own right they’re pretty warlike, which means they live even shorter lives then they would otherwise.

    I like that on an individual level, orc characters have a philosophy of cutting through all the endless planning and debating that games can turn into, and that they can be so easily misunderstood as monsters. It’s also cool that they tend to have this shamanistic thing going on, revering spirits and the past because they don’t really have a future.

    Also, green skin and generally ugly is a fantastic break from all the ruggedly handsome or weirdly waifish people you see in fantasy.

  7. My first character was the classic half orc barbarian and i started my career by smashing through an unlocked door.

    Also “orc stain” is the most beautiful comic ever.

    Orcs are big and tough and life is simpler when you can beat most obstacles to death with your forehead!

  8. My first character was the classic half orc barbarian and i started my career by smashing through an unlocked door.

    Also “orc stain” is the most beautiful comic ever.

    Orcs are big and tough and life is simpler when you can beat most obstacles to death with your forehead!

  9. Robert Bohl I guess that’s my setting. I also don’t mention this to the players. I assume that in Orc the genders are “strong one” and “weak one” (with very few males in general). When speaking to people in Common they probably use the gender associated with strength in the community they talk to… e.g. they say “he” when talking to folks from patriarchal societies to describe the strong ones.

    In my world Orcs are genetically created from Lizardman with biotech who combined elements of their genetics with humans and ended up with this strange other creature. I sort of imagine Orc procreation as like those fish where the female lays the eggs and runs away and the male fertilizes the eggs and is stuck there.

    This also removes the whole half-orc being some cross-bread with humans, as the two can’t breed (eliminates sexual misconduct as well, although I’m sure there are rumors that abound).

    I also figured there are regular Orcs (as defined by other humanoids) which are fairly violent and hard to get along with, and then “half-orcs” which are really just Orcs and Orc cultures that are less violent and more relatable, as they are “half like regular orcs and half like us”, I suppose. Maybe that’s an insult regular Orcs use to call these Orcs.

  10. Robert Bohl I guess that’s my setting. I also don’t mention this to the players. I assume that in Orc the genders are “strong one” and “weak one” (with very few males in general). When speaking to people in Common they probably use the gender associated with strength in the community they talk to… e.g. they say “he” when talking to folks from patriarchal societies to describe the strong ones.

    In my world Orcs are genetically created from Lizardman with biotech who combined elements of their genetics with humans and ended up with this strange other creature. I sort of imagine Orc procreation as like those fish where the female lays the eggs and runs away and the male fertilizes the eggs and is stuck there.

    This also removes the whole half-orc being some cross-bread with humans, as the two can’t breed (eliminates sexual misconduct as well, although I’m sure there are rumors that abound).

    I also figured there are regular Orcs (as defined by other humanoids) which are fairly violent and hard to get along with, and then “half-orcs” which are really just Orcs and Orc cultures that are less violent and more relatable, as they are “half like regular orcs and half like us”, I suppose. Maybe that’s an insult regular Orcs use to call these Orcs.

  11. I love em. They are just green humans who won’t take your shit. Too much office politics? Axe to the face. You roommate won,t clean there dishes? Axe to the face. and so on.

  12. I love em. They are just green humans who won’t take your shit. Too much office politics? Axe to the face. You roommate won,t clean there dishes? Axe to the face. and so on.

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