The Gauntlet After Dark – These Games I Love Re-post

The Gauntlet After Dark – These Games I Love Re-post

The Gauntlet After Dark – These Games I Love Re-post

This is a post I did earlier this year. I’m re-posting now because we have gained a lot of new community members in the time since this went up, and also because I’ve been fiddling with Part Two for awhile and it’s almost ready.

The last time this went up, a bunch of people reached out to me with their own stories of bullying , and how RPGs helped them cope. If anyone reading this re-post needs to talk or get something off their chest, my door is always open on Hangouts chat.

Originally shared by Jason Cordova

These Games I Love (Part One)

Starting in the fourth grade, I was very badly bullied in school. It began with this older kid who followed me home every single day, walking less than ten feet behind me, reminding me what a fucking faggot I was. She followed me for the whole half-mile walk from school to home, right up until I got to the building we lived in, taunting me the entire way. Every day.

Eventually, the kids in my class picked up the refrain, and recess and lunch became a contest to see who could call me the most horrible name, or who could make me cry. Even our sadistic asshole teacher got involved. He would affect a feminine voice and call me ‘Cordelia’ (a play on my last name, I guess), and do the ‘limp wrist’ gesture in front of the whole class, which always got a huge laugh. Probably the lowest, most horrible moment of my childhood was one day during PE, when I asked to be excused from playing dodgeball, and instead of granting my request, the same sadistic teacher made me play on a side by myself against the rest of the class and wouldn’t let me sit out after I got hit. I tried my best to play, struggling to defend myself, while the other kids just laughed and took turns pelting me with balls.

Fifth grade was a little better, but only because I managed to become somewhat invisible. I started getting rides home from school. My teacher was nicer, and I would occasionally escape recess by finding excuses to talk to her during that time. And fifth graders were allowed to roam a bit more, which meant I could walk to the far side of the activities field and just be by myself. There were still plenty of times I couldn’t escape, such as standing in line for lunch or whatever, but I learned to hollow myself out, so the taunts didn’t have as much impact.

I was a lonely, isolated kid. And I was miserable. SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) was in the news around that time, and I remember thinking I wished there was something like that for older kids. The idea of just randomly dying in the middle of the night had a lot of appeal.

But then the Marvel Super Heroes role playing game happened. I was in a comic book shop and convinced my Dad to buy it for me. I didn’t really know what it was, only that it was a game about comic book characters and you got to be them somehow. In fact, I spent weeks poring over it, but I could never figure out, precisely, what I was supposed to be doing. I was still in the fifth grade, and I had never even heard of Dungeons & Dragons, or any game like it.

But then this older kid came over one day and ran it for me. I played a villain (I’m pretty sure my powers had something to do with electricity, because the ability to shoot electricity from my hands was probably the most amazing thing I could imagine at the time). He seemed very knowledgeable about it all, and gave me a simple starting scenario (robbing a jewelry store), and very gently walked me through how to make things happen in the game. He described things happening. He asked “What do you do?” a lot. He was very patient as he pointed out the things I needed to know about FASERIP. I was enchanted. Maybe it’s because he was being nice to me, but playing this game felt like the best thing I had ever experienced to that point.

I started bringing the game to school. A couple of other social outcasts in my class (Rory and Eric) noticed me reading the books at recess and started asking about it. Eventually, they made characters and we started playing at recess. Our recess sessions turned into an after school thing, and we started having sleepovers at each other’s houses. We even dived into nascent game hacking, with Rory having an idea to make a Marvel Super Heroes scenario with video game characters, and we spent a fair amount of time giving FASERIP stats to each of the Mega Man bosses, as I recall.

The kids at school didn’t get any nicer, but at least I had a couple of friends. And, more importantly, I had something in my life that excited me; something I looked forward to every day.

I don’t remember the name of that older kid who taught me Marvel Super Heroes, or even why he was at our apartment in the first place. In fact, I never saw him again. But I wish I could tell him how important that afternoon was for me. He didn’t just kickoff my lifelong passion for tabletop games. He probably saved my life.

22 thoughts on “The Gauntlet After Dark – These Games I Love Re-post”

  9. ugh, when did my work get all these onions put in my office??!?!?!

    Jason Cordova this is possibly one of the best origin stories I’ve ever heard. I’m older than you, have GM’d longer than you, but thanks to you and the work you do, I’ve grown as a better GM.

    Games matter, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it till I die. They matter. They build shared memories and bonds. I play with my kids, and whem I’m long gone, I hope they will remember the adventures we had. In your case, they saved your life. For others, they have done equally amazing things. All centered around this silly little passtime made up of paper and little plastic dice.

    Thank you for everything you, for all your hours, for all the work that goes into creating and cultivating the podcasts, and more importantly, the community.

  10. ugh, when did my work get all these onions put in my office??!?!?!

    Jason Cordova this is possibly one of the best origin stories I’ve ever heard. I’m older than you, have GM’d longer than you, but thanks to you and the work you do, I’ve grown as a better GM.

    Games matter, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it till I die. They matter. They build shared memories and bonds. I play with my kids, and whem I’m long gone, I hope they will remember the adventures we had. In your case, they saved your life. For others, they have done equally amazing things. All centered around this silly little passtime made up of paper and little plastic dice.

    Thank you for everything you, for all your hours, for all the work that goes into creating and cultivating the podcasts, and more importantly, the community.

  15. This reminds me how important those little acts of kindness are.

    My father told me a similar story when he stood up for a kid being bullied on his school bus. He didnt know the boys name or the bullies.

    Decades latter, that bully met up with my dad again at a class reunion and thanked him for setting him straight.

    I try my best to do little acts like these when ever i can. I never see or hear from those people again ( ive moved more times than ive had birthdays) but i hope they make a difference.

    Im glad you were able to overcome the odds Jason. It says allot to your your character.

  16. This reminds me how important those little acts of kindness are.

    My father told me a similar story when he stood up for a kid being bullied on his school bus. He didnt know the boys name or the bullies.

    Decades latter, that bully met up with my dad again at a class reunion and thanked him for setting him straight.

    I try my best to do little acts like these when ever i can. I never see or hear from those people again ( ive moved more times than ive had birthdays) but i hope they make a difference.

    Im glad you were able to overcome the odds Jason. It says allot to your your character.

  17. Thank you for sharing Jason Cordova​​ I can relate. I was bullied to. Took me years to build self-confidence and self-esteem. Roleplaying games where my safe place. DMing forced me to take the spotlight and seeing others enjoy what I had to deliver greatly helped.

  18. Thank you for sharing Jason Cordova​​ I can relate. I was bullied to. Took me years to build self-confidence and self-esteem. Roleplaying games where my safe place. DMing forced me to take the spotlight and seeing others enjoy what I had to deliver greatly helped.

  19. It seems to, sadly, be a common refrain in the gaming community. I too was bullied starting in 4th grade. But my teacher joining in was not until freshmen year of high school, thank whatever higher power that by then i had a few friends that i met because of 1st ed. DnD. Gaming and thrash metal helped save my life.

    Thank you for sharing a part of your life that can be so mixed emotionally.

  20. It seems to, sadly, be a common refrain in the gaming community. I too was bullied starting in 4th grade. But my teacher joining in was not until freshmen year of high school, thank whatever higher power that by then i had a few friends that i met because of 1st ed. DnD. Gaming and thrash metal helped save my life.

    Thank you for sharing a part of your life that can be so mixed emotionally.

  21. This is one of the first RPGs I ever remember playing. It has been a hot second, and I dunno that the rules hold up, but I would play it or run it again I think.

    I also think the magic supplement had one of the most cohesive descriptions of how magic functions in an RPG ever.

  22. This is one of the first RPGs I ever remember playing. It has been a hot second, and I dunno that the rules hold up, but I would play it or run it again I think.

    I also think the magic supplement had one of the most cohesive descriptions of how magic functions in an RPG ever.

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