A few days ago I ran a session that just fell flat and I decided to end it prematurely. We were all really tired and playing a new game for the first time, so even though I failed it, I didn’t feel that bad.
I can only remember one other session where this happened in the last two years, but I do remember several times when we should have at least taken a break to talk about why things didn’t work out and how to do better, but we suffered through instead.
Have you had any relevant experiences lately? A session that dragged on forever and everyone hated it, or maybe a time when you actually talked about it and saved yourselves from awkwardness and boredom?
I’m reminded again and again how being open about how you feel is so worth it, but I never seem to learn.
The solution is obviously better communication, but can you think of concrete advice or rituals that might help us avoid the Abilene paradox*?
*The group doing something few enjoy because no-one wants to rock the boat.
My group had this once. He was a new DM and we wanted to be nice. He is easily insulted and takes things to heart.
Aside from that, i think its alot to do with the table too. Make sure everone feels at home and dont let them feel afraid to speak up. Im lucky to have a very outward speaking group who wont hold back, knowing that what they say (and i say) is ment in the kindest of ways.
My group had this once. He was a new DM and we wanted to be nice. He is easily insulted and takes things to heart.
Aside from that, i think its alot to do with the table too. Make sure everone feels at home and dont let them feel afraid to speak up. Im lucky to have a very outward speaking group who wont hold back, knowing that what they say (and i say) is ment in the kindest of ways.
Roses and Thornes, or the “more/less/wants” variant. Solicit from each person, and if someone could be prickly, maybe get their advice first to set the tone?
It’s all about the conversation
Roses and Thornes, or the “more/less/wants” variant. Solicit from each person, and if someone could be prickly, maybe get their advice first to set the tone?
It’s all about the conversation
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Ferrell Riley We usually do roses and thorns at the end, and even though that doesn’t help with things happening (or not happening) while playing, it does nurture an environment where it’s easier to speak up.
Checking in with players while playing is definitely important and if anything comes up, it makes sense to start the conversation there, but are you suggesting doing a formal feedback round in the middle of a session?
Ferrell Riley We usually do roses and thorns at the end, and even though that doesn’t help with things happening (or not happening) while playing, it does nurture an environment where it’s easier to speak up.
Checking in with players while playing is definitely important and if anything comes up, it makes sense to start the conversation there, but are you suggesting doing a formal feedback round in the middle of a session?
By the way. I think we have a really healthy group, but we’re always learning.
By the way. I think we have a really healthy group, but we’re always learning.
Well you should have a break after a couple hours. Feel it up and talk Roses and Thorns if it feela needed. Can’t hurt
Well you should have a break after a couple hours. Feel it up and talk Roses and Thorns if it feela needed. Can’t hurt
Tor Droplets i’d say once you’ve established that the flow isn’t flowing, take a break and start talking about how everyone feels about it. Catching it early when you can course correct if you can. Even if only you feel that way, it’s well know that it only takes one to break/sour that shared headspace at a game.
Tor Droplets i’d say once you’ve established that the flow isn’t flowing, take a break and start talking about how everyone feels about it. Catching it early when you can course correct if you can. Even if only you feel that way, it’s well know that it only takes one to break/sour that shared headspace at a game.
I think it’s difficult to make this suggestion as a player part way through. I think there’s a tendency to assume everyone else is having a better time than you, and also a desire not to criticize the GM until the you’ve seen the “whole”.
If the GM is running a pre-written adventure I think it might be best to bring up concerns at the end of a session, or at least in a longer break in play. If the game is more free-wheeling and improvised, then I think that it should be OK to say to the GM “listen, I’m not really feeling this scene. Can you, or I, frame a new scene about X soon (X being something you’re interested in)?”. Sometimes there are ways to push towards that through the game itself, but I think it’s OK to just speak up – even if I’m guilty of not doing that in the very recent past.
That said, while I don’t think it should be the GM’s sole responsibility, often as a GM you are best placed to take the temperature of the room, and you can often feel when a game isn’t working. Leaving aside any examples in games we’ve played together, I have totally abandoned a game mid-session and started something else when I could feel no one was into the original game. That’s not always a realistic option though.
I think it’s difficult to make this suggestion as a player part way through. I think there’s a tendency to assume everyone else is having a better time than you, and also a desire not to criticize the GM until the you’ve seen the “whole”.
If the GM is running a pre-written adventure I think it might be best to bring up concerns at the end of a session, or at least in a longer break in play. If the game is more free-wheeling and improvised, then I think that it should be OK to say to the GM “listen, I’m not really feeling this scene. Can you, or I, frame a new scene about X soon (X being something you’re interested in)?”. Sometimes there are ways to push towards that through the game itself, but I think it’s OK to just speak up – even if I’m guilty of not doing that in the very recent past.
That said, while I don’t think it should be the GM’s sole responsibility, often as a GM you are best placed to take the temperature of the room, and you can often feel when a game isn’t working. Leaving aside any examples in games we’ve played together, I have totally abandoned a game mid-session and started something else when I could feel no one was into the original game. That’s not always a realistic option though.
I remember one time at Jax Grill (where Houston Gauntlet meets) we were playing this terrible game that was supposed to be like Mean Girls. The concept was cool, but the rules just weren’t working for us. During a break for food/drink refills, Daniel Lewis, who was facilitating, asked me how I thought the game was going. I said it was not working for me, confirming his suspicions about the session. He explained to the rest of the group it wasn’t working for him either and we finished the evening playing The Final Girl instead and had a great time.
So, when you’re not feeling it, maybe just ask a single person you trust if they agree. If they do, then probably others do as well, and you can safely bring it up with the table.
I remember one time at Jax Grill (where Houston Gauntlet meets) we were playing this terrible game that was supposed to be like Mean Girls. The concept was cool, but the rules just weren’t working for us. During a break for food/drink refills, Daniel Lewis, who was facilitating, asked me how I thought the game was going. I said it was not working for me, confirming his suspicions about the session. He explained to the rest of the group it wasn’t working for him either and we finished the evening playing The Final Girl instead and had a great time.
So, when you’re not feeling it, maybe just ask a single person you trust if they agree. If they do, then probably others do as well, and you can safely bring it up with the table.
Jason Cordova That is great advice. We can’t just suddenly stop being shy and overly considerate, but by first asking someone else, you’re breaking it up into smaller steps and you’re sharing the burden of speaking up.
Jason Cordova That is great advice. We can’t just suddenly stop being shy and overly considerate, but by first asking someone else, you’re breaking it up into smaller steps and you’re sharing the burden of speaking up.