Having travelled many on many flights, I get pretty tired of the preflight safety brief. If I was ever approached and asked to give the speech, here is how my version would go:
Attention passengers, please set your tray tables in the locked position and your seats upright during take off and landing. Everyone who does not know how to use a set belt, stand up. Everyone remaining in your seats, demonstrate to those less fortunate how those belts are keeping you down. In the event that our landlocked flight manages to land in a large body of water and you are not dead, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device. Should you be so fortunate, a life vest will be located under your seat. Put it on around your neck and inflate. If it doesn’t inflate, it may be punctured or need foreplay to achieve inflated status. To resolve these issues, completely submerge yourself in the water that is filling the cabin, locate the suggestively shaped tube conveniently located near your face and blow. If you see bubbles, you may want to abandon that life vest. Back to a better scenario when we are still in the air: should the cabin lose pressure, a face sucker from the move Alien will drop from the ceiling. Place the face sucker firmly on your mouth, tighten the straps and open wide. Pull the tube straight to encourage the flow of eggs, I mean oxygen. Lastly, if this list of hypothetical tragedies has not freaked you out enough, you can always read more from the pamphlet on the seatback in front of you, or image living out Snakes on a Plane. Thank you.
I’d love to read your thoughts on this as it will expedite my lay over.
just for our information, lets see a show of hands for who can fly an airplane before we take off. no sir we don’t have an xbox controller… None of you? Oh well, we will probably be fine anyway…
just for our information, lets see a show of hands for who can fly an airplane before we take off. no sir we don’t have an xbox controller… None of you? Oh well, we will probably be fine anyway…
I played a stealth fighter flight sim once in the early 90s with a real joystick and throttle which I think that uniquely qualifies me to fly any plane.
I played a stealth fighter flight sim once in the early 90s with a real joystick and throttle which I think that uniquely qualifies me to fly any plane.
My favorite thing is when I fly from Dallas to Lubbock and they still do the “In the case of a water landing…” bit.
My favorite thing is when I fly from Dallas to Lubbock and they still do the “In the case of a water landing…” bit.
That’s the flight I am messaging from
That’s the flight I am messaging from
LOL! Safe Travels.
LOL! Safe Travels.