I think it is important, from time-to-time, to revisit the Geek Social Fallacies. Here, for your consideration, is the text of GSF#1, which is the most pernicious and destructive of the bunch. Let it be a lamp to guide us in the cold, dark night:
“GSF1 is one of the most common fallacies, and one of the most deeply held. Many geeks have had horrible, humiliating, and formative experiences with ostracism, and the notion of being on the other side of the transaction is repugnant to them.
In its non-pathological form, GSF1 is benign, and even commendable: it is long past time we all grew up and stopped with the junior high popularity games. However, in its pathological form, GSF1 prevents its carrier from participating in — or tolerating — the exclusion of anyone from anything, be it a party, a comic book store, or a web forum, and no matter how obnoxious, offensive, or aromatic the prospective excludee may be.
As a result, nearly every geek social group of significant size has at least one member that 80% of the members hate, and the remaining 20% merely tolerate. If GSF1 exists in sufficient concentration — and it usually does — it is impossible to expel a person who actively detracts from every social event. GSF1 protocol permits you not to invite someone you don’t like to a given event, but if someone spills the beans and our hypothetical Cat Piss Man invites himself, there is no recourse. You must put up with him, or you will be an Evil Ostracizer and might as well go out for the football team.
This phenomenon has a number of unpleasant consequences. For one thing, it actively hinders the wider acceptance of geek-related activities: I don’t know that RPGs and comics would be more popular if there were fewer trolls who smell of cheese hassling the new blood, but I’m sure it couldn’t hurt. For another, when nothing smacking of social selectiveness can be discussed in public, people inevitably begin to organize activities in secret. These conspiracies often lead to more problems down the line, and the end result is as juvenile as anything a seventh-grader ever dreamed of.”
The latest Story Games newsletter had an article that follows up on this pretty well and shows some of the problems that arise from trying to avoid conflict/criticism:
http://nordiclarp.org/2014/07/11/the-law-of-jante-in-nordic-role-playing/
The latest Story Games newsletter had an article that follows up on this pretty well and shows some of the problems that arise from trying to avoid conflict/criticism:
http://nordiclarp.org/2014/07/11/the-law-of-jante-in-nordic-role-playing/
Daniel Lewis Wow, this article is really good.
The article makes mention of social skills, the importance of which can’t be emphasized enough. It’s very hard when you have players who clearly aren’t picking up on social cues and they continue to engage in bad behavior. I suppose, as the organizer, it’s my responsibility to correct the behavior, but I’m afraid I suffer from GSF1. I have strived so hard to make The Gauntlet aggressively open and public, it kills me to have to lay down the law with people. I’ve only had to do it twice so far, and I didn’t enjoy it, but ultimately it had to be done for the good of the group.
Daniel Lewis Wow, this article is really good.
The article makes mention of social skills, the importance of which can’t be emphasized enough. It’s very hard when you have players who clearly aren’t picking up on social cues and they continue to engage in bad behavior. I suppose, as the organizer, it’s my responsibility to correct the behavior, but I’m afraid I suffer from GSF1. I have strived so hard to make The Gauntlet aggressively open and public, it kills me to have to lay down the law with people. I’ve only had to do it twice so far, and I didn’t enjoy it, but ultimately it had to be done for the good of the group.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Part of the problem of being GSF1 is that it makes it hard for them to take steps to make people who could work better in the group aware of the issues before it becomes a larger problem. Often it can be as simple as clearly, courteously, stating what behavior is causing a problem and asking if they can stop or adjust it. Most people will respond by either taking themselves out of the situation or adjusting their behavior. While you can end up with a few trolls who just get worse, but that does mean you have a clear reason for asking them to leave the group.
Part of the problem of being GSF1 is that it makes it hard for them to take steps to make people who could work better in the group aware of the issues before it becomes a larger problem. Often it can be as simple as clearly, courteously, stating what behavior is causing a problem and asking if they can stop or adjust it. Most people will respond by either taking themselves out of the situation or adjusting their behavior. While you can end up with a few trolls who just get worse, but that does mean you have a clear reason for asking them to leave the group.
Just to be clear, the Gauntlet is about as utopian a vision as one will find when it comes to roleplaying games. Since February of 2013, we have had approximately 300 successful game nights, and we maintain an aggressive pace of 4-5 games per week. That success is not an accident. It is the result of very careful planning and the fact we make regular sacrifices to Lord Satan, Terrifying Be His Name. We have a terrific group of core members who are willing to do the hard work of making things happen for the betterment of the group, and a good-natured group of outer-core members who come to play for the sheer joy of playing. It is delightful and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Just to be clear, the Gauntlet is about as utopian a vision as one will find when it comes to roleplaying games. Since February of 2013, we have had approximately 300 successful game nights, and we maintain an aggressive pace of 4-5 games per week. That success is not an accident. It is the result of very careful planning and the fact we make regular sacrifices to Lord Satan, Terrifying Be His Name. We have a terrific group of core members who are willing to do the hard work of making things happen for the betterment of the group, and a good-natured group of outer-core members who come to play for the sheer joy of playing. It is delightful and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.