We’re a very public FtF gaming group, meaning anyone who finds us on Meetup can show up to an event (provided there is space) and we will welcome them to play. But we’re also a community, and part of participating in a community is eventually doing what it takes to fit in with that community. As you might imagine, not everyone who shows up manages to accomplish that, and it’s on me, as the community organizer, to eliminate those friction points.
Most cases are very easy. The player who is disruptive at the table, or who creeps on women players, or who uses the captive audience of the game table to spout their foul ideology – I have no problem whatsoever kicking those people out. Then you have the cases that are a little less black & white; people who are fundamentally good, but who are just kind of inconsiderate – the crafters, the people who RSVP but don’t show, the last-minute cancelers, the chronically late, etc.. I try to give those folks a little bit of space to adapt to our way of doing things, and only ask them not to return when their inconsiderate behavior starts to be an inconvenience.
But what do you do about the person who willfully refuses to participate in the fullness of the community? The person who is plainly not interested in being anyone’s friend, and who would rate your game on Yelp if he could? The player who reminds you on a regular basis that they’d rather be playing Pathfinder, and that they are essentially slumming it with your group because they had nothing better to do that night? The player who doesn’t give a damn about your G+, your podcast, or anything else you do to enrich the overall experience of being a member of the community? And who, despite all of the above, still turns up on a weekly basis to game?
We have had several people like that, and I never really warm up to them.
Pathfinder you say?
Pathfinder you say?
Dare you enter my Magical Realm?
Dare you enter my Magical Realm?
Help them set up a Pathfinder game?
Help them set up a Pathfinder game?
Unfortunately, you will always have the issue of “stringers” in any group, the people who are there to fill a few hours. The Gauntlet has provided lots of comradely and fun for many of us, to the point that friendships have been forged, yes. But there will always be a contingent of those who do not click, or do not want to click. To them, I say I wish them well. To fret over them is pointless, you cannot change them. Instead you plan around them, or over them, depending on your desire and their attitude. If they begin to complain, tell them fully your issues, and if necessary, tell them to leave, or ask them to consider other plans, especially in the case of those who take up a space at a table and regularly do not show.
Always give people a chance, always have the arm extended in friendship, but if they refuse, move along without them.
Unfortunately, you will always have the issue of “stringers” in any group, the people who are there to fill a few hours. The Gauntlet has provided lots of comradely and fun for many of us, to the point that friendships have been forged, yes. But there will always be a contingent of those who do not click, or do not want to click. To them, I say I wish them well. To fret over them is pointless, you cannot change them. Instead you plan around them, or over them, depending on your desire and their attitude. If they begin to complain, tell them fully your issues, and if necessary, tell them to leave, or ask them to consider other plans, especially in the case of those who take up a space at a table and regularly do not show.
Always give people a chance, always have the arm extended in friendship, but if they refuse, move along without them.
I have to preface this with the fact that I am the newest of newbys to the Gauntlet but have been stalking the G+ for awhile. The people you write of have no idea why the GURPS gm always makes them take the clueless disadvantage. That being said they do not know that the Gauntlet is kinda a big deal in the gaming community. So it is not thier actions but rather the inabality to appreciate what they stumbled into that is the problem. Fair evaluation?
I have to preface this with the fact that I am the newest of newbys to the Gauntlet but have been stalking the G+ for awhile. The people you write of have no idea why the GURPS gm always makes them take the clueless disadvantage. That being said they do not know that the Gauntlet is kinda a big deal in the gaming community. So it is not thier actions but rather the inabality to appreciate what they stumbled into that is the problem. Fair evaluation?
parrish warren I will take being called a ‘big deal’ any day, but it’s not accurate, haha. We’re the tiniest of fish in the RPG sea, to be sure, but I take your point of people not really having the proper context to understand what we’re doing.
I think the problem I’m alluding to is more . . . cultural, maybe? One of the above-referenced people also tosses around the term “SJW’ pretty freely, indicating they are involved in reactionary online movements, and those movements tend to be filled with people who don’t think much about ‘community.’ They tend to be preoccupied with the immediate satisfaction of their own desires, and are generally pretty careless with their words.
parrish warren I will take being called a ‘big deal’ any day, but it’s not accurate, haha. We’re the tiniest of fish in the RPG sea, to be sure, but I take your point of people not really having the proper context to understand what we’re doing.
I think the problem I’m alluding to is more . . . cultural, maybe? One of the above-referenced people also tosses around the term “SJW’ pretty freely, indicating they are involved in reactionary online movements, and those movements tend to be filled with people who don’t think much about ‘community.’ They tend to be preoccupied with the immediate satisfaction of their own desires, and are generally pretty careless with their words.
Apropos of nothing, I first encountered the abbreviation “SJW” coming from a hilarious swarm of assholes reacting to the idea of the X-card. Since it was in an rpg context, I just kept sitting there thinking, well, I know two-thirds of this. Steve Jackson… wuh… wizards?
Apropos of nothing, I first encountered the abbreviation “SJW” coming from a hilarious swarm of assholes reacting to the idea of the X-card. Since it was in an rpg context, I just kept sitting there thinking, well, I know two-thirds of this. Steve Jackson… wuh… wizards?
Pathfinder is a really big deal, and it is very hard to find people to play pathfinder with. If someone feels they have the experience and raw talent to graduate to TURE role playing, it would be wrong of us to hold them back.
Aside from that it should be stressed that the only way communities survive is by being considerate. You might want to check out how your village is doing in Crash of Clams but other people are trying to have fun. If you are not having fun and think you would have more fun elsewhere then you shouldn’t be taking up a spot. If there is a good chance that you wont be able to make it and there are 13+ people complaining about being on the wait list, don’t wait till the last minute to bow out. Most importantly recognize that the DM probably put some effort into this, the other players are putting effort into it, don’t just trash it.
As far as solving these problems, I think the strait forward approach is probably best. We are all adults here and should be able to listen to criticism. “I/we don’t appreciate that behavior/attitude/statement.”, “remember how we talked about that…” “You are no longer invited.”
I am not natural social person and I’m probably not the only one in the Gauntlet/RPG hobby. The Gauntlet has certainly improved those skills. If I do something that disturbs you on a regular basis then please tell me. I will try to do the same.
Pathfinder is a really big deal, and it is very hard to find people to play pathfinder with. If someone feels they have the experience and raw talent to graduate to TURE role playing, it would be wrong of us to hold them back.
Aside from that it should be stressed that the only way communities survive is by being considerate. You might want to check out how your village is doing in Crash of Clams but other people are trying to have fun. If you are not having fun and think you would have more fun elsewhere then you shouldn’t be taking up a spot. If there is a good chance that you wont be able to make it and there are 13+ people complaining about being on the wait list, don’t wait till the last minute to bow out. Most importantly recognize that the DM probably put some effort into this, the other players are putting effort into it, don’t just trash it.
As far as solving these problems, I think the strait forward approach is probably best. We are all adults here and should be able to listen to criticism. “I/we don’t appreciate that behavior/attitude/statement.”, “remember how we talked about that…” “You are no longer invited.”
I am not natural social person and I’m probably not the only one in the Gauntlet/RPG hobby. The Gauntlet has certainly improved those skills. If I do something that disturbs you on a regular basis then please tell me. I will try to do the same.