The Gauntlet After Dark
I have this super-sad feeling in my heart right now. The Gauntlet is growing, which makes me happy, but as it does so, I feel more and more distant from the new people who are joining up. It used to be I had the time to at least join in a game with them or do little check-ins from time to time, but my bandwidth is basically tapped at this point. I’m super-lucky that folks like Lowell Francis and Kate Bullock have helped fill the leadership role, folks like Tomer Gurantz are welcoming/orienting people, and folks like Tyler Lominack are the new rockstar GMs, but I feel actual sadness that I can’t be the person anymore. It hasn’t been that long since the Gauntlet was just a small group of friends in Houston, you know?
I look on with amazement at all the cool games that are being organized on our Slack and on the calendar, listen to how excited the participants are, breaking down their sessions, talking about their upcoming games and projects, and just generally bonding… and I’m not a part of it. I know, to some degree, it’s my basic narcissism talking here. I have spent so much time being at the center of everything we do, it’s kind of terrifying to think it might work fine without me. But I am also genuinely bummed out that I don’t get to take part in these new stories and experiences. Everyone gets a little bit of me through the podcasts, but I can’t have a little bit of everyone, and that sucks.
I know this just sounds like unnecessary whining, but the folks who have been around for awhile know how important the personal connection is to me. They know how sad I am feeling right now.
(And if anyone is wondering where this sudden outburst of emotion is coming from, it’s because Sean Nittner joined our Slack, which got me thinking about Narrative Control, which got me thinking about the early days of the Gauntlet when Narrative Control was so important to shaping what we were doing.)
From where I’m standing you’re still essential to this whole thing, and I think we manage to work in a reference to you or your work in pretty much every session I play in! You’re definitely there in spirit!
From where I’m standing you’re still essential to this whole thing, and I think we manage to work in a reference to you or your work in pretty much every session I play in! You’re definitely there in spirit!
Seconding Kyle, and your essential presence to this community!!
In addition, I also feel like our international membership base is growing now, so I can see how these ever expanding time zones may exacerbate that feeling you described since time zones are the fuckin worst. It’s difficult to be there for everyone when our community is so delightfully global. You do great things for this wee community worldwide, and your presence is definitely felt.
Seconding Kyle, and your essential presence to this community!!
In addition, I also feel like our international membership base is growing now, so I can see how these ever expanding time zones may exacerbate that feeling you described since time zones are the fuckin worst. It’s difficult to be there for everyone when our community is so delightfully global. You do great things for this wee community worldwide, and your presence is definitely felt.
You’re captaining a ship now Jason, not piloting a little yacht! You’ve can’t hoist every sail yourself, but you’re still vital to keeping us afloat and heading in the right direction/
You’re captaining a ship now Jason, not piloting a little yacht! You’ve can’t hoist every sail yourself, but you’re still vital to keeping us afloat and heading in the right direction/
Jason, there are only so many hours in the day and a man can only do as much as he can do. I know that any chance we have to game with you, chat with you, and hang with you is so special to us all. On a personal note, you have always been there to support me, advise me, and occasionally tell me to chill out and stop worrying. I am certainly not unique in this. You work so hard to be there for each and every one of us. You need never worry sir, you are “The Person”…and you always will be.
Jason, there are only so many hours in the day and a man can only do as much as he can do. I know that any chance we have to game with you, chat with you, and hang with you is so special to us all. On a personal note, you have always been there to support me, advise me, and occasionally tell me to chill out and stop worrying. I am certainly not unique in this. You work so hard to be there for each and every one of us. You need never worry sir, you are “The Person”…and you always will be.
Dude, you do soooo much, and trust me, your presence is felt. I know you’d like a chance to hang with everyone, but your a community organizer, host of multiple shows, and editor and chief of a publication. You’re crushing this.
Dude, you do soooo much, and trust me, your presence is felt. I know you’d like a chance to hang with everyone, but your a community organizer, host of multiple shows, and editor and chief of a publication. You’re crushing this.
Doesn’t matter what happens, Jason, the Gauntlet will be you. Your sweat. Your time. Your love. Your passion. Your beliefs. Your dreams.
If you quit this place tomorrow, it’d bear your mark for years to come. That’s not working fine without you, it’s working fine because of you. And we’re super grateful. If I can help, like, make you feel more involved in the stories we’re playing in any way, please let me know!
(As a side note, Kyle Thompson’s Sig game had an NPC named Castafiel. Little bits of Jason, everywhere!)
Doesn’t matter what happens, Jason, the Gauntlet will be you. Your sweat. Your time. Your love. Your passion. Your beliefs. Your dreams.
If you quit this place tomorrow, it’d bear your mark for years to come. That’s not working fine without you, it’s working fine because of you. And we’re super grateful. If I can help, like, make you feel more involved in the stories we’re playing in any way, please let me know!
(As a side note, Kyle Thompson’s Sig game had an NPC named Castafiel. Little bits of Jason, everywhere!)
Jason, I feel both very honored to have had such and impact as well as much empathy for the feeling that your creation has grown bigger than you. It’s both sad and wonderful at the same time. You’re doing great work, and there are a lot of folks here having a great time gaming with each other and building community and friendships because of it!
Jason, I feel both very honored to have had such and impact as well as much empathy for the feeling that your creation has grown bigger than you. It’s both sad and wonderful at the same time. You’re doing great work, and there are a lot of folks here having a great time gaming with each other and building community and friendships because of it!
Cool for you guys that can happen when it costs $6 a month to be on Slack. You seem like super cool people and I love Fear of a Black Dragon.
My perspective : relationships are much more valuable when they’re limited to a small enough subset of people. I suspect you might benefit from trimming even further, so congrats on doing the hard thing.
Cool for you guys that can happen when it costs $6 a month to be on Slack. You seem like super cool people and I love Fear of a Black Dragon.
My perspective : relationships are much more valuable when they’re limited to a small enough subset of people. I suspect you might benefit from trimming even further, so congrats on doing the hard thing.
Jason Cordova For what it’s worth, as one of those new people, you’re still very much having an impact on us, even if you don’t get to interact much as you once did. I’m a little jealous of the people who got to be a part of the Gauntlet when it was younger and smaller (and who didn’t have to watch like a hawk to try to get a spot in one of your games!). That said, it was your podcasts (especially Pocket Sized Play) that got me interested in being part of the community, and playing with y’all. Your imprint has been on every game I’ve played on The Gauntet, the ethos and concerns that are clear in everything the community puts out. It’s fantastic, thank you.
Jason Cordova For what it’s worth, as one of those new people, you’re still very much having an impact on us, even if you don’t get to interact much as you once did. I’m a little jealous of the people who got to be a part of the Gauntlet when it was younger and smaller (and who didn’t have to watch like a hawk to try to get a spot in one of your games!). That said, it was your podcasts (especially Pocket Sized Play) that got me interested in being part of the community, and playing with y’all. Your imprint has been on every game I’ve played on The Gauntet, the ethos and concerns that are clear in everything the community puts out. It’s fantastic, thank you.
I’m not going to try and convince you not to feel sad, because hey: Sad Feels. They must happen, and it’s always great to have a place where you can express them.
In line with my star from Sidney Icarus’ post: If you told me a year ago that I’d be getting anywhere close to what I want out of RPGs by playing online, I wouldn’t have believed you. I thank you (and so many others by association and by their work!) for that gift, because it is beautiful.
There is so much of you in this space. And part of what you are continuing to provide, which is more difficult than just being in it, is the space for this place to grow and breath, separate from you. And that alone is amazingly generous and important. And you’re not doing it in silence, allowing resentment or sadness grow, but sharing even that with us, which I feel is so very core to what is allowing the growth to be healthy. I feel happy to be involved in this thing.
I’m not going to try and convince you not to feel sad, because hey: Sad Feels. They must happen, and it’s always great to have a place where you can express them.
In line with my star from Sidney Icarus’ post: If you told me a year ago that I’d be getting anywhere close to what I want out of RPGs by playing online, I wouldn’t have believed you. I thank you (and so many others by association and by their work!) for that gift, because it is beautiful.
There is so much of you in this space. And part of what you are continuing to provide, which is more difficult than just being in it, is the space for this place to grow and breath, separate from you. And that alone is amazingly generous and important. And you’re not doing it in silence, allowing resentment or sadness grow, but sharing even that with us, which I feel is so very core to what is allowing the growth to be healthy. I feel happy to be involved in this thing.
I know this feeling to some degree; I’ve had it for a while now. It’s a bittersweet thing to get so many games to table but not get to know everyone at every table. The blessing and curse of growth.
I know this feeling to some degree; I’ve had it for a while now. It’s a bittersweet thing to get so many games to table but not get to know everyone at every table. The blessing and curse of growth.
I hope that as the new folks stick around invariably we will get to know them better, just might take longer than before with so many new people!
I hope that as the new folks stick around invariably we will get to know them better, just might take longer than before with so many new people!
New person here. I’m just lurking now and supporting you on Patreon. This community has become cool enough that people like me want to be part of it even if we don’t get to play games with you 🙂
I’ve got a lot of games going on in my life already – that’s not why I joined. I joined because you folks seem like great people, you produce products I want to consume, and your ideas make me excited. You probably won’t get a chance to game with me for a while, because of that.
I’m definitely the sort of “new person” you’ll feel sad about feeling distant from, but know that I’ve listened to you for dozens of hours already on your podcasts, so while you may not know me that well, I’ve been paying attention to you, because your podcasts and zines are awesome. I already own several games by members of this community, as it turns out!
And who knows. Maybe one day I’ll sign into one of your games. I would love to play in one of your games. I just have two little kids, my own games, and no extra time.
About me:
I have a blog (runagame.net) where I largely try to communicate/translate collaborative, facilitator-style GMing — the kind of thing you do here — to trad RPGs, especially D&D. That’s where the vast majority of RPG players are. It’s where most of us came from.
I think D&D gets people into RPGs, thanks to its category killer status, and then some proportion of them migrate to our style of games. And then some of our style of games leaks back into D&D.
Even Mike Mearls is talking about how D&D is changing to more of a narrative focus, thanks in part to the influx of new players who don’t come from a grids-and-tactics mindset and also in part to people like us who are pushing the entire RPG community toward more collaborative, improvy, narrative play.
More about me:
Currently running:
– The Sprawl
– D&D 5e Out of the Abyss (which I largely run as Labyrinth / Alice in Wonderland whimsical / goofy fantasy)
Currently playing:
– Cross World (a RIFTS DW hack)
– Trail of Cthulhu
– Uncharted Worlds
I used to LARP (run and play) a lot with three of the various DC area LARP communities (there are at least 4 here – we’re lucky), but I don’t have time anymore.
Finally, I was pleased to discover that I know a LOT of folks here already because I followed them or conversed with them on twitter and facebook. Many of the people whose ideas I shared turned out to already be a part of this group, so if you recognize me from there, Hi!
New person here. I’m just lurking now and supporting you on Patreon. This community has become cool enough that people like me want to be part of it even if we don’t get to play games with you 🙂
I’ve got a lot of games going on in my life already – that’s not why I joined. I joined because you folks seem like great people, you produce products I want to consume, and your ideas make me excited. You probably won’t get a chance to game with me for a while, because of that.
I’m definitely the sort of “new person” you’ll feel sad about feeling distant from, but know that I’ve listened to you for dozens of hours already on your podcasts, so while you may not know me that well, I’ve been paying attention to you, because your podcasts and zines are awesome. I already own several games by members of this community, as it turns out!
And who knows. Maybe one day I’ll sign into one of your games. I would love to play in one of your games. I just have two little kids, my own games, and no extra time.
About me:
I have a blog (runagame.net) where I largely try to communicate/translate collaborative, facilitator-style GMing — the kind of thing you do here — to trad RPGs, especially D&D. That’s where the vast majority of RPG players are. It’s where most of us came from.
I think D&D gets people into RPGs, thanks to its category killer status, and then some proportion of them migrate to our style of games. And then some of our style of games leaks back into D&D.
Even Mike Mearls is talking about how D&D is changing to more of a narrative focus, thanks in part to the influx of new players who don’t come from a grids-and-tactics mindset and also in part to people like us who are pushing the entire RPG community toward more collaborative, improvy, narrative play.
More about me:
Currently running:
– The Sprawl
– D&D 5e Out of the Abyss (which I largely run as Labyrinth / Alice in Wonderland whimsical / goofy fantasy)
Currently playing:
– Cross World (a RIFTS DW hack)
– Trail of Cthulhu
– Uncharted Worlds
I used to LARP (run and play) a lot with three of the various DC area LARP communities (there are at least 4 here – we’re lucky), but I don’t have time anymore.
Finally, I was pleased to discover that I know a LOT of folks here already because I followed them or conversed with them on twitter and facebook. Many of the people whose ideas I shared turned out to already be a part of this group, so if you recognize me from there, Hi!
I think you’ve entered the “wearing the heavy crown” stage of Conan.
I think you’ve entered the “wearing the heavy crown” stage of Conan.
You’ve entered into the hard part. But I know you can pull it off.
You’ve entered into the hard part. But I know you can pull it off.
Jason Cordova, I’ve watched you help this community grow from the very beginning—you’ve got this, even if it’s feeling hard in the moment. And you are (clearly) not alone. 🙂
Jason Cordova, I’ve watched you help this community grow from the very beginning—you’ve got this, even if it’s feeling hard in the moment. And you are (clearly) not alone. 🙂
Thanks for the encouraging words, everyone. I’m one of those people who do the weird sleep cycle where you wake up in the middle of the night for a couple of hours and then go back to sleep. Those middle of the night hours are the most creative and productive for me, but I also have a tendency to get in my head a bit about things. Getting nostalgic about the early days of the Gauntlet at 1 A.M. is always going to lead to emotions, haha.
For me, something I worry about a lot as we get bigger and more well-known is that we still retain that Gauntlet character that makes our community special, and for so long I have viewed myself as really central to that. But I know those values extend beyond me; I can see them at work in all the awesome things going on. And, indeed, they’re presently better than I could have done by myself. Our diversity actions, the push to formalize our processes, Gauntlet Con, the explosion of Gauntlet Hangouts—those are all things that were spearheaded by other people and the community is much better for them. And to be quite honest, this is what I have wanted for a long time, even if it makes me sad/wistful at times. I used to say to Rich Rogers all the time that I longed for the day when entirely different people were hosting the podcasts, and that I was in a strictly producer/organizer role, because to me, that would be the leading indicator that our community was mature and here to stay. Like, I know what we have to do, and I know where we’re headed, but it’s still easy to be a little sad about the change.
Thanks for the encouraging words, everyone. I’m one of those people who do the weird sleep cycle where you wake up in the middle of the night for a couple of hours and then go back to sleep. Those middle of the night hours are the most creative and productive for me, but I also have a tendency to get in my head a bit about things. Getting nostalgic about the early days of the Gauntlet at 1 A.M. is always going to lead to emotions, haha.
For me, something I worry about a lot as we get bigger and more well-known is that we still retain that Gauntlet character that makes our community special, and for so long I have viewed myself as really central to that. But I know those values extend beyond me; I can see them at work in all the awesome things going on. And, indeed, they’re presently better than I could have done by myself. Our diversity actions, the push to formalize our processes, Gauntlet Con, the explosion of Gauntlet Hangouts—those are all things that were spearheaded by other people and the community is much better for them. And to be quite honest, this is what I have wanted for a long time, even if it makes me sad/wistful at times. I used to say to Rich Rogers all the time that I longed for the day when entirely different people were hosting the podcasts, and that I was in a strictly producer/organizer role, because to me, that would be the leading indicator that our community was mature and here to stay. Like, I know what we have to do, and I know where we’re headed, but it’s still easy to be a little sad about the change.