Episode 56 of Discern Realities is here!
Despite what I say on this episode, there is, in fact, a little more time to participate in our Keepers of the Gauntlet contest. Submit your magic item, move, or monster here or to gauntletpodcast@gmail.com by March 1st, 11:59 PM EST.
Enjoy!
Downloaded for the commute home!
Downloaded for the commute home!
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Dire Pigs of Moloch: Group, Large, Intelligent
Goring Tusks (d8+4, Forceful) 10 HP 1 Armor
It is not unusual for domestic pigs to occasionally escape the pin and become feral. They can be a real nuisance to farmers and are almost impossible to get rid of once established. But something much worse has happened in the valleys and swamps of Moloch. The pigs found there grow to elephantine size and ferocity. Their great bulk and thick hides mean they no longer have to fear simple farmers or other predators. They will gleefully run amuck in town until every structure has been toppled and anything etable has been consumed. When they are threatened, they are capable of great fearsomeness and determination. Some even display subtle intelligence when rooting out hidden or well protected victims. Legends say they are lead by a great bearded bore, once a prize pig known as Greyham, who can speak the language of men. If you can manage to negotiate or hold power over him, he can regurgitate whole anything or anyone the heard has eaten in the last seven days.
Instinct:
to uproot and trample small villages
Moves:
Gore and consume anything.
knock over structures with their bulk
Demonstrate surprising intelligence and persistence to get at food.
Dire Pigs of Moloch: Group, Large, Intelligent
Goring Tusks (d8+4, Forceful) 10 HP 1 Armor
It is not unusual for domestic pigs to occasionally escape the pin and become feral. They can be a real nuisance to farmers and are almost impossible to get rid of once established. But something much worse has happened in the valleys and swamps of Moloch. The pigs found there grow to elephantine size and ferocity. Their great bulk and thick hides mean they no longer have to fear simple farmers or other predators. They will gleefully run amuck in town until every structure has been toppled and anything etable has been consumed. When they are threatened, they are capable of great fearsomeness and determination. Some even display subtle intelligence when rooting out hidden or well protected victims. Legends say they are lead by a great bearded bore, once a prize pig known as Greyham, who can speak the language of men. If you can manage to negotiate or hold power over him, he can regurgitate whole anything or anyone the heard has eaten in the last seven days.
Instinct:
to uproot and trample small villages
Moves:
Gore and consume anything.
knock over structures with their bulk
Demonstrate surprising intelligence and persistence to get at food.
making monsters from keeper names seems a lot harder then items or custom moves. Im not sure why.
making monsters from keeper names seems a lot harder then items or custom moves. Im not sure why.
Fabulous Fish Parade
The teenage queen of the white cobble throne has led her people into a false period of economic splendor. The people have grown indulgent, entertaining themselves with festivals, gladiatorial contests and parades. The most lavish of these events is known as the Fabulous Fish Parade.
Aristocracy and common folk alike craft elaborate and/or comically disproportionate fish-boats. Early in the morning, one by one, the ships launch into the harbor. Some float, most sink. The queen views and judges the efforts and awards one winner with the festival crown. The festival crown is an ornate, towering frivolity that requires the assistance of several handmaids to support.
The Queen also selects a loser; they are given the Angler Jaw Manacles.
Angler Jaw Manacles 0 weight, worn
What, at first glance, is a pair of fish jaws connected by a golden chain, appears to be a much more complex mechanical apparatus on close inspection. When activated by a throat singing choir the jaws clamp into the victims bones.
When the Angler Jaw Manacles pierce your bones you can not hold back your tears. roll+Con
10+: You are the first recorded victim to resist the transformation. Congratulations.
7-9: The transformation is either incomplete or temporary.
6-: You become the next Bakunawa sworn to protect the harbor.
Fabulous Fish Parade
The teenage queen of the white cobble throne has led her people into a false period of economic splendor. The people have grown indulgent, entertaining themselves with festivals, gladiatorial contests and parades. The most lavish of these events is known as the Fabulous Fish Parade.
Aristocracy and common folk alike craft elaborate and/or comically disproportionate fish-boats. Early in the morning, one by one, the ships launch into the harbor. Some float, most sink. The queen views and judges the efforts and awards one winner with the festival crown. The festival crown is an ornate, towering frivolity that requires the assistance of several handmaids to support.
The Queen also selects a loser; they are given the Angler Jaw Manacles.
Angler Jaw Manacles 0 weight, worn
What, at first glance, is a pair of fish jaws connected by a golden chain, appears to be a much more complex mechanical apparatus on close inspection. When activated by a throat singing choir the jaws clamp into the victims bones.
When the Angler Jaw Manacles pierce your bones you can not hold back your tears. roll+Con
10+: You are the first recorded victim to resist the transformation. Congratulations.
7-9: The transformation is either incomplete or temporary.
6-: You become the next Bakunawa sworn to protect the harbor.
Hell Armada
Devils are nothing if not particular. The care and precision with witch they extract misery would be commendable were it only directed to nobler purposes. Take for example the iterative design process used by Zel’Nu’Tharax high admiral of Hell’s Armada.
It should be noted of course, that Hell has no need for an armada. No foreign power circles its shores, no distant trade is plundered by pirates, no logistical support is needed on some distant black glass beach. This does not stop Zel’Nu’Tharax from routinely forcing lazy draftsman to design unworthy ships to crew with their unwitting families or other maritime ne’er-do-wells.
These unfit ships are then placed into competitive brackets and pitched against each other in lava filled coliseum naumachina. It’s said the winning design will be used in hell’s armada, but the contest has stretched for millennia with no end in sight, and no need for a winner.
When you captain a rickety hell ship describe your vessel and name it’s most obvious flaw, also describe your competitor and their most obvious advantage. Then roll+nothing
+1 if you piloted a vessel in life
+1 if you are the distant relative of your boat’s draftsman
10+: Pick 2
7-9: Pick 1
-Your lose, freeing you from the bracket
-You and your crew remain unharmed
-The draftsman is not punished
Always describe how the result comes to pass
Hell Armada
Devils are nothing if not particular. The care and precision with witch they extract misery would be commendable were it only directed to nobler purposes. Take for example the iterative design process used by Zel’Nu’Tharax high admiral of Hell’s Armada.
It should be noted of course, that Hell has no need for an armada. No foreign power circles its shores, no distant trade is plundered by pirates, no logistical support is needed on some distant black glass beach. This does not stop Zel’Nu’Tharax from routinely forcing lazy draftsman to design unworthy ships to crew with their unwitting families or other maritime ne’er-do-wells.
These unfit ships are then placed into competitive brackets and pitched against each other in lava filled coliseum naumachina. It’s said the winning design will be used in hell’s armada, but the contest has stretched for millennia with no end in sight, and no need for a winner.
When you captain a rickety hell ship describe your vessel and name it’s most obvious flaw, also describe your competitor and their most obvious advantage. Then roll+nothing
+1 if you piloted a vessel in life
+1 if you are the distant relative of your boat’s draftsman
10+: Pick 2
7-9: Pick 1
-Your lose, freeing you from the bracket
-You and your crew remain unharmed
-The draftsman is not punished
Always describe how the result comes to pass
Been working on this one since the beginning of the contest, still not 100% happy with it but TODAY IS THE DAY!
Locks Without Key
In places where cotton is still pressed between toes for safe travels, and where widows still eat rocks on their anniversary, it is known to all that you are born with a lock around your heart and a key to another’s lock. There comes a time when a key holder dies and the lock remains, unopened. What isn’t known is, one can be taught to close their lock, and kill their key bearer.
When you close your heart-lock roll+past lovers
10+: You see your key holder die peacefully and naturally. Say who they are.
You may take the following move next time you level:
Untouched You can no longer be touched. You may strike a bond to deal double your damage to anything touching you.
7-9: You see your key holder die in an accident. Say who they are.
You must take the following move next time you level:
Unwanted You can no longer be wanted. Anytime you Aid or Interfere, on a 7-9 you may strike a bond with the target to change to a 10+ or 6-.
6-: Your key holder dies violently, in pain. The GM will tell you who they are.
You immediately take the following move and erase all XP:
Unloved You can no longer be loved. Anytime you roll Last Breath you can strike any number of bonds to take +1 to the roll. You can not form new bonds.
Been working on this one since the beginning of the contest, still not 100% happy with it but TODAY IS THE DAY!
Locks Without Key
In places where cotton is still pressed between toes for safe travels, and where widows still eat rocks on their anniversary, it is known to all that you are born with a lock around your heart and a key to another’s lock. There comes a time when a key holder dies and the lock remains, unopened. What isn’t known is, one can be taught to close their lock, and kill their key bearer.
When you close your heart-lock roll+past lovers
10+: You see your key holder die peacefully and naturally. Say who they are.
You may take the following move next time you level:
Untouched You can no longer be touched. You may strike a bond to deal double your damage to anything touching you.
7-9: You see your key holder die in an accident. Say who they are.
You must take the following move next time you level:
Unwanted You can no longer be wanted. Anytime you Aid or Interfere, on a 7-9 you may strike a bond with the target to change to a 10+ or 6-.
6-: Your key holder dies violently, in pain. The GM will tell you who they are.
You immediately take the following move and erase all XP:
Unloved You can no longer be loved. Anytime you roll Last Breath you can strike any number of bonds to take +1 to the roll. You can not form new bonds.
Here goes my first entry in any of your competitions!
The Machine That Must Not Stop
Deep below the city of Brasshold, lies a hidden door leading to a secret tunnel.
As you venture beyond the door, a distinct smell of burnt flesh becomes stronger as you venture forth. At the end of the tunnel lies a massive hall of black iron. The hall is lit by a hundred furnaces surrounding a towering monstrous contraption of brass tubes and black glass. It’s not quite mechanical roar almost deafening you as you enter. As you approach, a dozens monks with sodden, hollowed out faces turn in exact unison and utter “The machine must not stop, that would mean the end.”.
When you tamper with the machine that must not stop, roll+int and describe how the machine that must not stop is vital to the city of Brasshold.
On a 10+ choose 2.
On 7-9 choose 1.
Describe how you optimize the current function of the machine and how it will positively affect the city of Brasshold for decades.
Describe what sinister means are currently powering the machine, and how they could be changed to a less nefarious resource.
Strip the machine of powerful esoteric materials.
Prevent whatever is trapped in the machine from lashing out at the intruders.
On 6- something in the machine stirs and then all falls silent. Terror grips you as you realize that the machine has stopped. The GM will tell you the consequences. One thing is certain, Brasshold will fall.
Here goes my first entry in any of your competitions!
The Machine That Must Not Stop
Deep below the city of Brasshold, lies a hidden door leading to a secret tunnel.
As you venture beyond the door, a distinct smell of burnt flesh becomes stronger as you venture forth. At the end of the tunnel lies a massive hall of black iron. The hall is lit by a hundred furnaces surrounding a towering monstrous contraption of brass tubes and black glass. It’s not quite mechanical roar almost deafening you as you enter. As you approach, a dozens monks with sodden, hollowed out faces turn in exact unison and utter “The machine must not stop, that would mean the end.”.
When you tamper with the machine that must not stop, roll+int and describe how the machine that must not stop is vital to the city of Brasshold.
On a 10+ choose 2.
On 7-9 choose 1.
Describe how you optimize the current function of the machine and how it will positively affect the city of Brasshold for decades.
Describe what sinister means are currently powering the machine, and how they could be changed to a less nefarious resource.
Strip the machine of powerful esoteric materials.
Prevent whatever is trapped in the machine from lashing out at the intruders.
On 6- something in the machine stirs and then all falls silent. Terror grips you as you realize that the machine has stopped. The GM will tell you the consequences. One thing is certain, Brasshold will fall.
Okay, well, technically today is the day, not yesterday. Just want to say that I’ve had a lot of fun with this contest, and have read some superb content. You are all fantastic.
Feathers of Regret
Rangers and druids often refuse to hear the hiss and cluck of vultures. The sound is described as ‘undying howls’ and a ‘tortured sob’. The reason is attributed to their diet. Surely nothing that eats the dead could be of sane mind and body. Archdruid Alastrina, who once came upon a newborn vulture clutch, is quick to dissolve such notions. She states that vultures are benevolent creatures that ingest the psychic remains of regret. Were it not for their ability to assimilate this regret into their feathers, calamity would surely follow.
Particularly strong regrets give feathers an emerald sheen. These feathers, when prepared in the customary way of quill pens, will animate and write the regrets of their fallen progenitor. If such a thing sounds intrusive and impolite, that’s because it is.
When you convince a vulture to give you a feather and prepare it properly roll+Cha
10+: Name the dead progenitor, describe their regret, take +1 forward to any roll that would work to assuage this regret. If that move hits, describe how you have overcome the regret and lose the bonus.
7-9: The GM will name a dead progenitor and their regret. Take the same bonus as above, but know that some family secrets are best left unspoken.
6-: It can be tough to learn of dead family in this way…
Okay, well, technically today is the day, not yesterday. Just want to say that I’ve had a lot of fun with this contest, and have read some superb content. You are all fantastic.
Feathers of Regret
Rangers and druids often refuse to hear the hiss and cluck of vultures. The sound is described as ‘undying howls’ and a ‘tortured sob’. The reason is attributed to their diet. Surely nothing that eats the dead could be of sane mind and body. Archdruid Alastrina, who once came upon a newborn vulture clutch, is quick to dissolve such notions. She states that vultures are benevolent creatures that ingest the psychic remains of regret. Were it not for their ability to assimilate this regret into their feathers, calamity would surely follow.
Particularly strong regrets give feathers an emerald sheen. These feathers, when prepared in the customary way of quill pens, will animate and write the regrets of their fallen progenitor. If such a thing sounds intrusive and impolite, that’s because it is.
When you convince a vulture to give you a feather and prepare it properly roll+Cha
10+: Name the dead progenitor, describe their regret, take +1 forward to any roll that would work to assuage this regret. If that move hits, describe how you have overcome the regret and lose the bonus.
7-9: The GM will name a dead progenitor and their regret. Take the same bonus as above, but know that some family secrets are best left unspoken.
6-: It can be tough to learn of dead family in this way…