Crowd-sourcing Gauntlet Daddy Jokes!
Warning: this is a NSFW thread filled with tasteless, dirty jokes. Avoid as needed.
I am having a HELL of a time coming up with dirty jokes to accompany Devilingus (pictured below). I’m up against a deadline and I need your help!
The Gauntlet Daddy profiles are sort of like Playboy centerfold bios. Here are a couple of recent ones:
He-Wolf (a ranger)
Favorite animal companion: Bear
Favorite Ranger move: Called Shot (Chest & Face)
Favorite pick-up line: “I’ve got a magical shaft that will make you quiver.”
Favorite punchline: “Strider? I hardly know her!”
Best life advice he ever received: Make sure your scabbard is big enough for that two-handed sword.
Boner (a necromancer)
Favorite thing to put in his spell slot: Bigby’s Clenched Fist
Favorite magical artifact: The Cock of Vecna
Favorite saying: “Necrophili–YES!”
Best life advice he ever received: If your raise lasts more than 1d4 hours, call your healer immediately
Favorite pick-up line: “You wanna put your divining rod in my holy symbol?”
It can be pretty much anything, so long as the answers are funny, dirty, and connected to roleplaying games in some way. Also: demon or devil-themed.
Put your ideas in the comments. If you have an idea that is particularly dirty/risqué that you don’t want to share publicly, you can message me on Hangouts or Slack.
Twinkle-eye (an illusionist)
Favorite rule of magic: “Power needs to be harnessed”
Favorite Spell: Power Word Yes Daddy
Favorite Saying: “Well, don’t keep me in suspense – oh wait, yes, do!”
Most Useful Spell: Ephemeral Chaps
Favorite Pick-up Line: So is your hammer as big as your horns?
Twinkle-eye (an illusionist)
Favorite rule of magic: “Power needs to be harnessed”
Favorite Spell: Power Word Yes Daddy
Favorite Saying: “Well, don’t keep me in suspense – oh wait, yes, do!”
Most Useful Spell: Ephemeral Chaps
Favorite Pick-up Line: So is your hammer as big as your horns?
Andrew Ragland Those are great, but to be clear, I need jokes specifically for Devilingus, pictured up top.
Andrew Ragland Those are great, but to be clear, I need jokes specifically for Devilingus, pictured up top.
Favorite Archdevil: Beelzeboob (or Mephistophallus)
Favorite Archdevil: Beelzeboob (or Mephistophallus)
Maria Rivera Perfect!
Maria Rivera Perfect!
What his tattoo sigil means: “Aim here.”
What his tattoo sigil means: “Aim here.”
Horns: +3 to impaling
Horns: +3 to impaling
“Underworld? Nah, just Under-bun!”
“Underworld? Nah, just Under-bun!”
“Reach into the devil’s gaping maw!…. Deeper…. Deeper….”
“Reach into the devil’s gaping maw!…. Deeper…. Deeper….”
Lucky number : 669
Lucky number : 669
Biblical name: The Beast (With Two Backs)
Biblical name: The Beast (With Two Backs)
How to bind him: silk rope / zip ties.
How to bind him: silk rope / zip ties.
Favorite spell: Blue Balls of Frustration
Favorite spell: Blue Balls of Frustration
Weapon: The hot-shot
Weapon: The hot-shot
Favorite dessert: Frosted Cinnamon Buns (“Everyone guesses Devil’s Food Cake.”)
Favorite dessert: Frosted Cinnamon Buns (“Everyone guesses Devil’s Food Cake.”)
Summoning: Play a Barry White record backwards and light a massage-oil lamp
Binding: Furry handcuffs
Pact: That jockstrap… mmm
Summoning: Play a Barry White record backwards and light a massage-oil lamp
Binding: Furry handcuffs
Pact: That jockstrap… mmm
What’s the name of the horned gauntlet he’s wearing?
What’s the name of the horned gauntlet he’s wearing?
“You think my tail is long…”
“You think my tail is long…”
“You know what they say about a devil’s tail…”
“You know what they say about a devil’s tail…”
“Even my glove is horny”
“Even my glove is horny”
“Now that I have your attention. ..no glove, no love.”
“Now that I have your attention. ..no glove, no love.”