The Gauntlet After Dark – On creating genuine friendships in an online space
I have lately found myself feeling somewhat adrift when it comes to the hobby. There are a lot of instances when I’m looking at the various Gauntlet things I have to do, evaluating which games I want to play, or scanning RPG social media spaces, and this creeping phrase enters my head:
“Do I even care about this anymore?”
I think I do. But I also think I need more from it.
I put a huge premium on being able to speak with people, bond with them, and make genuine friendships. It’s why simply producing podcasts has never been enough for me. I need to interact with the people who listen to my shows, I need to play games with them, I need to get to know them. When the Gauntlet started transitioning to being a more public space, I found it deeply uncomfortable. When your natural state is to carefully cultivate community, friendship, and loyalty, it freaks you out when there are suddenly people around who want things from you but whose motives are unclear or impersonal.
I’ve been trying to find ways of enriching the experience of being in the Gauntlet, both for my own satisfaction (and sanity) and that of the people who choose to engage with the community. The Slack group has helped tremendously. Today, for example, there were a lot of really fascinating conversations going on, all of which were being conducted respectfully and with a genuine care and admiration for each participant (seriously: you should look into the Slack group; it’s a pretty phenomenal space). Several of us have organized a Gauntlet friend circle for playing Nintendo Switch games (using Discord for chat) and that has been a blast.
But I think we can do better. The idea I am currently batting around is using Discord chat to do debriefs after Gauntlet Hangouts games. We play a ton of fucking games, but we’ve always been missing that debrief/decompression conversation you get with face-to-face games. If the Discord chat is handled correctly, I think this could enrich the Gauntlet Hangouts experience in a massive way. It’s not enough to simply play games; we also need to talk about how those games went. We need to hear from each other. We need to create a supportive environment.
Anyway, I find myself lately obsessed with genuine interactions, genuine friendships. And so I think it’s going to be a focus for the next few months.
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Yeah I have really enjoyed interacting with people on Slack and really really enjoyed Switch gaming those times, too. I think debrief chats would be great as well! Very cool!
Yeah I have really enjoyed interacting with people on Slack and really really enjoyed Switch gaming those times, too. I think debrief chats would be great as well! Very cool!
Can you remind us about the Slack group? What is it exactly? Does it require a certain level of Patreon support? Would I need a microphone and a fast connection to participate?
Can you remind us about the Slack group? What is it exactly? Does it require a certain level of Patreon support? Would I need a microphone and a fast connection to participate?
I know that my “best friend,” if that doesn’t seem too juvenile a term, is a result of online (and mostly PbP) gaming. Our always open chat channel via Google Chat/HO/Whatever, text-only, is the foundation of that. Slack, Discord, anything that allows spontaneous sparks of connection… I encourage.
I know that my “best friend,” if that doesn’t seem too juvenile a term, is a result of online (and mostly PbP) gaming. Our always open chat channel via Google Chat/HO/Whatever, text-only, is the foundation of that. Slack, Discord, anything that allows spontaneous sparks of connection… I encourage.
You often talk about the Slack but not how to access it. I’d be happy to have some conversations with other members on there if I knew how to sign up.
You often talk about the Slack but not how to access it. I’d be happy to have some conversations with other members on there if I knew how to sign up.
It’s a Patreon level Kyle Thompson, you can pledge to it and gain access to it.
It’s a Patreon level Kyle Thompson, you can pledge to it and gain access to it.
Fraser Simons Thanks I’ll check my pledge level!
Fraser Simons Thanks I’ll check my pledge level!
I think we all go through times when we put our arms around the hobby and times when we turn a shoulder to it. I’ve been going through a bit of a cooling off myself because of a very intense few weeks of ‘real life’ that has made me question where my gaming life fits in and how real/lasting the relationships I have there are. Worse, I’ve questioned whether my creative efforts should be put into “more worthwhile” projects. I just know that I have almost given up gaming at least half a dozen times in my life and that I always come back … after a time. So … I guess I just give myself some space. You do so much to keep the community going that I’m sure you don’t feel like you can step away at all. I hope there are some places where you can find room to breathe and enjoy the community you help build.
I think we all go through times when we put our arms around the hobby and times when we turn a shoulder to it. I’ve been going through a bit of a cooling off myself because of a very intense few weeks of ‘real life’ that has made me question where my gaming life fits in and how real/lasting the relationships I have there are. Worse, I’ve questioned whether my creative efforts should be put into “more worthwhile” projects. I just know that I have almost given up gaming at least half a dozen times in my life and that I always come back … after a time. So … I guess I just give myself some space. You do so much to keep the community going that I’m sure you don’t feel like you can step away at all. I hope there are some places where you can find room to breathe and enjoy the community you help build.
I’ll give a couple of thoughts but I also want to start by saying that it’s immediately obvious that you put an incredible amount of work into putting this community together and that as a newcomer, I appreciate it.
So I run a non-profit and I talk to a lot of other charities that focus on community building; this is a topic I’m passionate about. One of the orgs that I’m not affiliated with (Stack-Up, to give credit where credit is due…they support military veterans with video games) recently told me that their community took off when they created a Discord channel. When their folks weren’t playing together they’d just hang out there and talk. Stack-up didn’t organise anything, they just allowed it to happen organically. Some of us are also experimenting with organising activities and get-togethers on the periphery of our focus area so the relationships our participants form are less one-dimensional…so relevant examples of peripheral examples here might be video games, as you mentioned, but also things like reading groups, board game meetups, game development meetups, etc. From an outsiders perspective you have a very high level of engagement…your games are all filling very quickly. These peripheral activities don’t require a moderator so your base can engage in them without costing you much time and effort.
I’ll also mention that the group I play with via Teamspeak/Fantasy Grounds have benefitted from playing games on sites like boardgamearena every once in awhile after a session. It gives everyone a concrete excuse to hang out for awhile and engage in a less intense activity together. Sometimes saying ‘everyone down for one round of Secret Hitler/Colt Express/whatever?’ is as effective in generating post-game debrief as saying ‘anyone have thoughts on the game?’
I’ll give a couple of thoughts but I also want to start by saying that it’s immediately obvious that you put an incredible amount of work into putting this community together and that as a newcomer, I appreciate it.
So I run a non-profit and I talk to a lot of other charities that focus on community building; this is a topic I’m passionate about. One of the orgs that I’m not affiliated with (Stack-Up, to give credit where credit is due…they support military veterans with video games) recently told me that their community took off when they created a Discord channel. When their folks weren’t playing together they’d just hang out there and talk. Stack-up didn’t organise anything, they just allowed it to happen organically. Some of us are also experimenting with organising activities and get-togethers on the periphery of our focus area so the relationships our participants form are less one-dimensional…so relevant examples of peripheral examples here might be video games, as you mentioned, but also things like reading groups, board game meetups, game development meetups, etc. From an outsiders perspective you have a very high level of engagement…your games are all filling very quickly. These peripheral activities don’t require a moderator so your base can engage in them without costing you much time and effort.
I’ll also mention that the group I play with via Teamspeak/Fantasy Grounds have benefitted from playing games on sites like boardgamearena every once in awhile after a session. It gives everyone a concrete excuse to hang out for awhile and engage in a less intense activity together. Sometimes saying ‘everyone down for one round of Secret Hitler/Colt Express/whatever?’ is as effective in generating post-game debrief as saying ‘anyone have thoughts on the game?’
I am a big fan of voice chat and making connections with people, I wouldn’t even know about without communities like the Gauntlet. I made a lot of friends this way. So finding space in the Discord to do that would be a cool addition to the Gauntlet, making it even more into a group of online friends than a podcast audience or place to meet players.
I am a big fan of voice chat and making connections with people, I wouldn’t even know about without communities like the Gauntlet. I made a lot of friends this way. So finding space in the Discord to do that would be a cool addition to the Gauntlet, making it even more into a group of online friends than a podcast audience or place to meet players.
That’s a great idea! 🙂
That’s a great idea! 🙂
This is great, and I also appreciate all the hard work you put into The Gauntlet and the community. I also bet there will be a lot of opportunity for making and strengthening connections at GauntletCon!
This is great, and I also appreciate all the hard work you put into The Gauntlet and the community. I also bet there will be a lot of opportunity for making and strengthening connections at GauntletCon!
I have been reluctant to sign up to play with you all. I am not confident in my WiFi and don’t wish to be a burden. I am working on sorting that issue out. Also I live in Mountain time USA which is GMT-6 and I work nights. I am hopeful that there will be time slots for me over the wee hours.
I have been reluctant to sign up to play with you all. I am not confident in my WiFi and don’t wish to be a burden. I am working on sorting that issue out. Also I live in Mountain time USA which is GMT-6 and I work nights. I am hopeful that there will be time slots for me over the wee hours.
loving this! I’m really big on the importance of validation and support in any creative endeavor, especially when fostering a community. group creativity is a such a vulnerable act, especially when there’s an element of performance attached and having a shared sense of trust, understanding and camaraderie with a group always leads to better gaming and just a more fulfilling experience.
it means you can introduce themes that hit on what the rest of the group really gives a shit about, play to their strengths and take risk knowing that your group will be the safety net for your batshit ideas.
on top of that, you just generally get more positive emotional feedback because every single interaction you have has more personal significance AND context within a relationship that’s bigger than the game itself.
the “game” is more than just the mechanics in a vacuum, it’s the collaborative social experience that the text gives structure to, and I really think that genuine companionship is the best way to make the most of that experience.
And as the lifeblood of this hub of connections and companionship, you ought to be right at the center of it if that’s the space you want to occupy! This community exists and thrives because of the amazing creative and administrative work that you do and if anyone deserves to rest for a little bit on their friendship laurels, it’s you! Take some time to rest & deepen those bonds and the whole community will strengthen because of it. so if I may be so bold, a dream for you Jason Cordova! thank you!
loving this! I’m really big on the importance of validation and support in any creative endeavor, especially when fostering a community. group creativity is a such a vulnerable act, especially when there’s an element of performance attached and having a shared sense of trust, understanding and camaraderie with a group always leads to better gaming and just a more fulfilling experience.
it means you can introduce themes that hit on what the rest of the group really gives a shit about, play to their strengths and take risk knowing that your group will be the safety net for your batshit ideas.
on top of that, you just generally get more positive emotional feedback because every single interaction you have has more personal significance AND context within a relationship that’s bigger than the game itself.
the “game” is more than just the mechanics in a vacuum, it’s the collaborative social experience that the text gives structure to, and I really think that genuine companionship is the best way to make the most of that experience.
And as the lifeblood of this hub of connections and companionship, you ought to be right at the center of it if that’s the space you want to occupy! This community exists and thrives because of the amazing creative and administrative work that you do and if anyone deserves to rest for a little bit on their friendship laurels, it’s you! Take some time to rest & deepen those bonds and the whole community will strengthen because of it. so if I may be so bold, a dream for you Jason Cordova! thank you!