Gamers! I need your thoughts:
Silence at the table.
Why do you quiet at table? What are times you’ve seen silence at the table? What do you think it means? When have you been wrong? And when have you used silence to avoid communicating discomfort?
Gamers! I need your thoughts:
Gamers! I need your thoughts:
It’s a little bit of a therapy move, but when there is silence at the table I’ll often point it out and ask. “Hmm, what’s this silence about?” Sometimes I’m surprised, and usually someone says something that I need to hear one way or another (if nothing else than just to help move the game forward).
It’s a little bit of a therapy move, but when there is silence at the table I’ll often point it out and ask. “Hmm, what’s this silence about?” Sometimes I’m surprised, and usually someone says something that I need to hear one way or another (if nothing else than just to help move the game forward).
Silence as a problem: There are naturally outgoing or experience players who expect others to fend for their own spotlight. There’s nothing wrong with that unless you have a player who is not quite so gregarious or not as confident and avoid the spotlight in fear of doing or saying something wrong.
Solution: More awareness from the GM of who has or has not contributed to the table. This doesn’t necessarily mean, “Robin, you haven’t said anything for a while, what do you do?” Sometimes the pressure of a sudden spotlight can clam up players even faster. It could mean putting a hand up and say, “Hold on – you’ve just made three moves, let me see what the other characters are doing.”
Silence as a GM effect: Sometimes you pull off something so well – setting the stakes, curating atmosphere, creating a sense of loss – that the players don’t say a thing and are focused inwards, or are holding their breath for the dice to settle.
I love this. We had a funeral for an NPC once and on of our PCs opted to try and give a eulogy. As the player actually stood, everyone at the table became quiet, waiting for his first word. Then he shook his head and sat back down. It was a really powerful moment.
Silence as a problem: There are naturally outgoing or experience players who expect others to fend for their own spotlight. There’s nothing wrong with that unless you have a player who is not quite so gregarious or not as confident and avoid the spotlight in fear of doing or saying something wrong.
Solution: More awareness from the GM of who has or has not contributed to the table. This doesn’t necessarily mean, “Robin, you haven’t said anything for a while, what do you do?” Sometimes the pressure of a sudden spotlight can clam up players even faster. It could mean putting a hand up and say, “Hold on – you’ve just made three moves, let me see what the other characters are doing.”
Silence as a GM effect: Sometimes you pull off something so well – setting the stakes, curating atmosphere, creating a sense of loss – that the players don’t say a thing and are focused inwards, or are holding their breath for the dice to settle.
I love this. We had a funeral for an NPC once and on of our PCs opted to try and give a eulogy. As the player actually stood, everyone at the table became quiet, waiting for his first word. Then he shook his head and sat back down. It was a really powerful moment.
I’ve noticed silence when I wanted collaboration but I was talking too much. You can’t give a lecture about collaboration then expect it immediately afterwards.
I’ve noticed silence when I wanted collaboration but I was talking too much. You can’t give a lecture about collaboration then expect it immediately afterwards.
Do you mean the whole table, or just some people? I haven’t seen the whole table except when everyone is tired and it’s probably time to call the game, and for just some people it’s when either it’s not their turn to speak, or they’re not interested in what’s happening right now.
Do you mean the whole table, or just some people? I haven’t seen the whole table except when everyone is tired and it’s probably time to call the game, and for just some people it’s when either it’s not their turn to speak, or they’re not interested in what’s happening right now.
I am kind of a talker, so I often have to actively pursue silence to make room for other players thoughts and words. It is normally quite productive, and makes me mindful of the collaborative discourse. When a person has hurt my feelings in real life, it can sometimes bleed into a bit of a sulking silence. This is normally meant to give me time to calm down and see things from another’s view, but it is often not very productive and can gum up everyone’s fun. I hope to have more of the former and less of the latter.
I have been silent at times in a game when it touched on personal issues that were not visible to anyone. For example, I have lost a family member to suicide in a way that makes a character killing themselves with a gun uncomfortable for me. I know the trope is there, and I am much more aware of how many characters on tv and in movies exploit it than I once was, so I don’t say anything. The X-card is on the table, and nobody would think less of me, but I just can’t bring myself to bring that loss to the table. I am not sure if the repeated exposure is harmful or helpful.
I am kind of a talker, so I often have to actively pursue silence to make room for other players thoughts and words. It is normally quite productive, and makes me mindful of the collaborative discourse. When a person has hurt my feelings in real life, it can sometimes bleed into a bit of a sulking silence. This is normally meant to give me time to calm down and see things from another’s view, but it is often not very productive and can gum up everyone’s fun. I hope to have more of the former and less of the latter.
I have been silent at times in a game when it touched on personal issues that were not visible to anyone. For example, I have lost a family member to suicide in a way that makes a character killing themselves with a gun uncomfortable for me. I know the trope is there, and I am much more aware of how many characters on tv and in movies exploit it than I once was, so I don’t say anything. The X-card is on the table, and nobody would think less of me, but I just can’t bring myself to bring that loss to the table. I am not sure if the repeated exposure is harmful or helpful.
I’m almost always uncomfortable with silence, but that’s the case outside of gaming, too. When it’s worst is when I’m in a GM-like role and having to figure stuff out. When I’m in a non-GM role, I’m usually constantly bursting with ideas and thoughts, so much so that I have to control myself so as not to be a dick. But if I have to look up a rule, or think “what’s next?” I immediately start feeling awful, like I’m ruining it for everyone.
I’m almost always uncomfortable with silence, but that’s the case outside of gaming, too. When it’s worst is when I’m in a GM-like role and having to figure stuff out. When I’m in a non-GM role, I’m usually constantly bursting with ideas and thoughts, so much so that I have to control myself so as not to be a dick. But if I have to look up a rule, or think “what’s next?” I immediately start feeling awful, like I’m ruining it for everyone.
Be an active audience.
Be silent.
Leave room for the other players to speak.
Let your posture speak for you.
Look at the players who are speaking.
Nod.
Laugh.
Be an active audience.
Be silent.
Leave room for the other players to speak.
Let your posture speak for you.
Look at the players who are speaking.
Nod.
Laugh.
“When the Dark is Gone” is a game where the GM plays a Therapist and the characters are in a group therapy session. One of the core pieces of GMing advice I wrote for the game is “when there is silence, hold off talking for several beats longer than you are comfortable with”. Because invariably one of the players will blurt something out to fill the void and that is where the magic happens.
“When the Dark is Gone” is a game where the GM plays a Therapist and the characters are in a group therapy session. One of the core pieces of GMing advice I wrote for the game is “when there is silence, hold off talking for several beats longer than you are comfortable with”. Because invariably one of the players will blurt something out to fill the void and that is where the magic happens.
In my group, silence is usually due to physical exhaustion. Players get tired and need to stand up, stretch and grab some sustenance.
Call a break and have everyone recharge
In my group, silence is usually due to physical exhaustion. Players get tired and need to stand up, stretch and grab some sustenance.
Call a break and have everyone recharge