Dear Community

Dear Community

Dear Community,

I’m sure I’m not the only one with this desire, so any help or tips at all would no doubt be appreciated by many:

If you have a significant other who likes some geekdom (books/movies), is there any way you have been able to, in part or in whole, win them over to the hobby? Maybe there’s ONE GAME or type of game they are down to play? Any advice/game recommendations are super welcome. 🙂

28 thoughts on “Dear Community”

  1. My wife doesn’t RPG anymore, but still likes board games. We found some great 2-player games (e.g. Catan card game; Hunters & Gatherers), so we can play together, even when real life doesn’t afford us time for a game night with friends.

    Also, she loves to read, sometimes genre fic, so when we’re reading the same book, we have lots to talk about.

    But none of the above is an on-ramp to getting her back into RPGing. And that’s okay.

  2. My wife doesn’t RPG anymore, but still likes board games. We found some great 2-player games (e.g. Catan card game; Hunters & Gatherers), so we can play together, even when real life doesn’t afford us time for a game night with friends.

    Also, she loves to read, sometimes genre fic, so when we’re reading the same book, we have lots to talk about.

    But none of the above is an on-ramp to getting her back into RPGing. And that’s okay.

  7. We’ve had fun using Fiasco to introduce non-gaming folks to RPGs. The fact that it’s so over the top helped them get into the game. There are a couple of horror setting books floating around (Back to the Old House and the two-part Camp Death) as well as fantasy and science fiction.

  8. We’ve had fun using Fiasco to introduce non-gaming folks to RPGs. The fact that it’s so over the top helped them get into the game. There are a couple of horror setting books floating around (Back to the Old House and the two-part Camp Death) as well as fantasy and science fiction.

  9. Daniel Lugo Something I learned is that, if within the first 5-10 minutes of actual play (post-instructions) the person is either mentally or externally asking “Why is this fun?” then it probably isn’t. So certainly ask for suggestions, but the suggestions aren’t going to speak to the individual with whom you are in a partnership. Keeping that in mind, rules-light, fast setup, fast play games can be better introductory options (The Game, Red 7, Hanabi, Mr. Jack Pocket, Hive, etc.). Games that they’ll feel less bothered by saying no to and games that are easier to grasp from the get go.

    If they already like certain games, you could list them and we can see about suggesting related ones.

    As for RP, you well know that people’s reasons for being at the table vary widely. If your SO has RPed before, did they enjoy it? Yes or no, what was the reason? There are a myriad RP systems out there which cater to very different reasons for being at the table, so knowing they why is the crucial point.

    In the end though, no matter how much WE love them, board games and RPing is not for everyone.

  10. Daniel Lugo Something I learned is that, if within the first 5-10 minutes of actual play (post-instructions) the person is either mentally or externally asking “Why is this fun?” then it probably isn’t. So certainly ask for suggestions, but the suggestions aren’t going to speak to the individual with whom you are in a partnership. Keeping that in mind, rules-light, fast setup, fast play games can be better introductory options (The Game, Red 7, Hanabi, Mr. Jack Pocket, Hive, etc.). Games that they’ll feel less bothered by saying no to and games that are easier to grasp from the get go.

    If they already like certain games, you could list them and we can see about suggesting related ones.

    As for RP, you well know that people’s reasons for being at the table vary widely. If your SO has RPed before, did they enjoy it? Yes or no, what was the reason? There are a myriad RP systems out there which cater to very different reasons for being at the table, so knowing they why is the crucial point.

    In the end though, no matter how much WE love them, board games and RPing is not for everyone.

  15. Stop talking to them, stop hanging out with them, stop interacting with them completely. Let this go on for three or four weeks. At the end of that time, ask them to play a game with you. They’ll be so excited you’re speaking to them again that they’ll be willing to do whatever you want.

    Then play Final Girl. Everyone loves Final Girl.

  16. Stop talking to them, stop hanging out with them, stop interacting with them completely. Let this go on for three or four weeks. At the end of that time, ask them to play a game with you. They’ll be so excited you’re speaking to them again that they’ll be willing to do whatever you want.

    Then play Final Girl. Everyone loves Final Girl.

  23. Oooh, I like the idea of getting them interested by listening to APs. I’ve heard about people listening to APs without even realizing what it was, and when they learned that it was a thing, they wanted to try it immediately. I recommend She’s a Super Geek.

    I listened to a few rpg-discussion podcasts on loudspeakers while my partner was doing other stuff and I often tried to pick the episodes and shows that could be interesting to her. For example the Backstory podcast that often brought up Feminism and safer spaces which are topics we share an interest in. Maybe it helped.

    I remember a Gauntlet episode about converting people and they mentioned finding key interests. If they’re into Star Wars, play Star Wars! For my partner, the game that triggered a passion for rpgs was Urban Shadows.

    Light and tight systems are definitely preferable. How about 2 hours of Star Trek Lasers and Feelings?

    John Willson​​​ finding good people to play with is everything. It’s definitely worth making an effort to find a small group of people the significant other trusts and have a good chemistry with instead of “allowing” them to try out with the level 20 bro’s with level 20 in-jokes.

    Ari Black​​​ I like to be idealistic and think that EVERYONE can enjoy rpgs or games of some kind, and if they don’t, they just haven’t found the right one yet or something else is keeping them away. But I’m also realistic enough to realise that for some people it’s just very unlikely to find the right match and perfect circumstances and we should accept that and respect them…

    …begrudgingly.

  24. Oooh, I like the idea of getting them interested by listening to APs. I’ve heard about people listening to APs without even realizing what it was, and when they learned that it was a thing, they wanted to try it immediately. I recommend She’s a Super Geek.

    I listened to a few rpg-discussion podcasts on loudspeakers while my partner was doing other stuff and I often tried to pick the episodes and shows that could be interesting to her. For example the Backstory podcast that often brought up Feminism and safer spaces which are topics we share an interest in. Maybe it helped.

    I remember a Gauntlet episode about converting people and they mentioned finding key interests. If they’re into Star Wars, play Star Wars! For my partner, the game that triggered a passion for rpgs was Urban Shadows.

    Light and tight systems are definitely preferable. How about 2 hours of Star Trek Lasers and Feelings?

    John Willson​​​ finding good people to play with is everything. It’s definitely worth making an effort to find a small group of people the significant other trusts and have a good chemistry with instead of “allowing” them to try out with the level 20 bro’s with level 20 in-jokes.

    Ari Black​​​ I like to be idealistic and think that EVERYONE can enjoy rpgs or games of some kind, and if they don’t, they just haven’t found the right one yet or something else is keeping them away. But I’m also realistic enough to realise that for some people it’s just very unlikely to find the right match and perfect circumstances and we should accept that and respect them…

    …begrudgingly.

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