I’m a little out-of-sorts from heavy doses of codeine and A Song of Ice & Fire fan theories (they should really warn…

I’m a little out-of-sorts from heavy doses of codeine and A Song of Ice & Fire fan theories (they should really warn…

I’m a little out-of-sorts from heavy doses of codeine and A Song of Ice & Fire fan theories (they should really warn you about mixing the two). I’m pulling myself away, and instead wondering whether there is any ASoIF gay slash fic. I’m certain there is, but I don’t want to get flagged by the FBI as some sort of social degenerate who likes thinking about fictional characters getting it on. So, instead, I shall muse here about my ideal couplings . . . 

-Jaime Lannister plus anyone else. In this one, Jaime has just returned from a battle, and the other person is there to pour him a glass of wine, draw him a hot bath, and remove his armor gently and with erotic subtext. It proceeds with the other person giving Jaime a bath, drying him off when it’s over, and dressing him for bed. The entire time, Jaime doesn’t say a single word; barely acknowledging the other person. Not until the very end, that is, when, after being tucked into bed, he turns to the other person and says “A Lannister always pays his debts.” 

-Tywin Lannister and Ned Stark, engaging in some sort of psychosexual daddy/power thing. Their respective Maesters are also present, who occasionally chime-in with sage observations and wise council, and look at each other and nod approvingly.

-Robb Stark and Jon Snow. In this one, they’re in a plain stone room, sitting in chairs, facing Catelyn Stark, who is in the role of an Anne Robinson-style quiz mistress. Catelyn quizzes the lads one-by-one on various trivial matters related to the realm, like what is the symbol of House Such-and Such and who was killed in the Third War of Farfanel, or whatever. Whenever one of them gets one wrong, Catelyn screams at him “You are not my son!” and the other one has to give him a spanking. 

28 thoughts on “I’m a little out-of-sorts from heavy doses of codeine and A Song of Ice & Fire fan theories (they should really warn…”

  11. OMG, from Ferrell’s link:

    Mad About You – A series of drabbles about Sansa Stark using the lyrics to the song Mad About You by Hooverphonic.

    We should make a game of this. Here is the formula:

    [Name of Song] – A [type of story of literary form] about [GoT character, place, or event] using the lyrics from [name of song] by [artist].

    I’ll start . . .

    We Didn’t Start the Fire – A collection of poems about Melisandre using the lyrics of We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel.

  12. OMG, from Ferrell’s link:

    Mad About You – A series of drabbles about Sansa Stark using the lyrics to the song Mad About You by Hooverphonic.

    We should make a game of this. Here is the formula:

    [Name of Song] – A [type of story of literary form] about [GoT character, place, or event] using the lyrics from [name of song] by [artist].

    I’ll start . . .

    We Didn’t Start the Fire – A collection of poems about Melisandre using the lyrics of We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel.

  19. Oops I did it again – A defense of Littlefinger’s plots and betrayals using the lyrical talent of Brittney Spears

    Its Snowing Men – One author’s re-imagining of life on the The Wall, and how the men there amuse themselves, using the lyrics of The Weather Girl’s “It’s Raining Men”

    Dear God I am bored this evening.  

  20. Oops I did it again – A defense of Littlefinger’s plots and betrayals using the lyrical talent of Brittney Spears

    Its Snowing Men – One author’s re-imagining of life on the The Wall, and how the men there amuse themselves, using the lyrics of The Weather Girl’s “It’s Raining Men”

    Dear God I am bored this evening.  

  23. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – A heartbreaking lament from Brienne’s POV taking inspiration from U2’s hit song.

    Lightning Crashes – A dirge examining Beric Dondarrion’s passing of the gift of second life to another. Lyrical passages borrowed from Live’s “Lightning Crashes.”

    I Wanna Be Your Dog – A prose reinterpretation of The Stooges’ classic, depicting Sandor Clegane’s final encounter with Sansa.

    The companion piece, You Can Call Me Al(ayne), a meditation on identity, safety, and loss. Apologies to Paul Simon.

    Wonderwall – Taking its musical cue from Oasis’s song, Mance Rayder sings about his on-again, off-again romance with the Night’s Watch.

  24. I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For – A heartbreaking lament from Brienne’s POV taking inspiration from U2’s hit song.

    Lightning Crashes – A dirge examining Beric Dondarrion’s passing of the gift of second life to another. Lyrical passages borrowed from Live’s “Lightning Crashes.”

    I Wanna Be Your Dog – A prose reinterpretation of The Stooges’ classic, depicting Sandor Clegane’s final encounter with Sansa.

    The companion piece, You Can Call Me Al(ayne), a meditation on identity, safety, and loss. Apologies to Paul Simon.

    Wonderwall – Taking its musical cue from Oasis’s song, Mance Rayder sings about his on-again, off-again romance with the Night’s Watch.

  27. Baby Got Back – A love poem written by Roose Bolton to win the affections of Walda Frey cleverly crafted from the lyrics of Sir MixaLots greatest work of the same name.

  28. Baby Got Back – A love poem written by Roose Bolton to win the affections of Walda Frey cleverly crafted from the lyrics of Sir MixaLots greatest work of the same name.

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