I have often made ‘joking’ reference to the Gauntlet hierarchy.

I have often made ‘joking’ reference to the Gauntlet hierarchy. In fact, this organizational scheme is real. I am sharing it with you now for the first time. 

Each one of you is in a circle. Those of you who are in the best circles have earned a level of trust and admiration from me the others can only fantasize about, and have access to a number of perks of which you may not even be aware. For example, if you needed a ride to the airport, I would actually consider doing it before urging you to call a cab. 

Here is how it works:

Circle Rainbow Circle Rainbow is the very best circle. It always contains myself, and usually one other person. Before Rob died, for example, he was in Circle Rainbow. 

Circle Star This is also a very nice circle to be in. There are  only two people in Circle Star. One of these people will ascend to Circle Rainbow in the event there is an opening. Collectively, Circle Star and Circle Rainbow make-up the Gauntlet High Command. 

Circle A This is another very good circle. Anyone can be in Circle A, so long as you meet the following criteria: 1) You have good taste in roleplaying games, 2) you regularly attend Gauntlet Meetups (at least once per week), 3) you are a good roleplayer, and 4) you are fully engaged with the Gauntlet community (i.e. you listen to the podcast, you participate on G+, and so forth). 

Circle B This is where most of you are slotted. Circle B is not a bad place to be, but it’s not the best, either. Circle B is for people who regularly attend Gauntlet Meetups, but who have shown something resembling fealty to things outside of the Gauntlet. I mean, really, family is very overrated. We’re the only family you need, right? No? Well, then, by all means, enjoy your stay in Circle B. 

Circle C A number of you are slotted in Circle C. Circle C is for people who regularly attend Gauntlet Meetups, but who have still not managed to gain my trust. This is usually for one of the following reasons: 1) You have shitty taste in games, or you show a general lack of curiosity about roleplaying games, 2) you don’t engage fully in the community aspects of the Gauntlet, or 3) you are, in ways both subtle and overt, undermining the mission of the Gauntlet in some way.

Circle D Circle D is for people who have previously attended Gauntlet Meetups, maybe even semi-regularly, but who, without explanation, have stopped coming. ‘D’ stands for ‘dead to me.’  

Circle F There is only one person in Circle F. There is always one person in Circle F. That person’s name is written on a piece of paper I keep in my desk.

Outside of the above hierarchy is a series of Special Circles. They are as follows:

Circle Austin This is for people who would solidly be in Circle A, if not for the fact they moved to Austin.

Circle Derek This is for people who would be in either Circle Star or Circle A, if not for frisbees. 

Satanic Circle The only person in this circle is presently being prepared for sacrifice to the Dark Lord.

Circle Doyle This is for people who, in a parallel universe, waited for us to come along, and who now enjoys membership in Circle Rainbow or Circle Star.

Circle Regret This is for people who would be in Circle A if their spouses actually loved them and let them have one goddamn day a week to pursue their hobbies. 

Circle Baby This is for people who would be in Circle A if not for babies. This is a very large circle.